Reflections

Yesterday, as I was doing all my chores, and making sure Elfie eats his dinner, and bathing him, it suddenly dawned on me that I have never really done anything significant in my entire life. As in, what have I done that will make people remember me, even when I am gone, or not by their side? Nothing. Zilch.

Serious, When I was a child, I always lived in the shadows of my sisters. I was always whose whose whose sister.

When I went to secondary school, I always hid in the shadows of my friends.

When I was in Poly, I was a little more outspoken.

When I did my degree, I opened up more to others, including Beach Gals.

But even then, I did not do anything that was very significant at all. Up to now.

Relationship – Needless to say, nothing at all. Oh yes, a huge pile of mess, a body and soul full of scars.

Family – This I can say I have put in a little more effort than all the other areas. I think we have grown closer these recent years.

Career – Pui pui pui! I pui myself, can? I am just an unambitious, lazy bum, who doesn’t know what she wants.

LBT ever said, (if I remembered correctly) that nothing is not achievable, as long as you put in a little more effort.

I am ashamed to say that, I have never really put in a lot of effort in my career at all. Most of my energy, I channeled to relationships that were not worth mentioning, or even worth remembering at all. I have wasted a great portion of my life doing all these worthless shit! And got nothing in return at all.

SIGH……

I always complained about my boss. But I think, a lot of it actually comes from myself. If I had only put in that little bit more effort, I think I will be able to handle her relatively well. She will even love me! Ahahaha…

Since I am not getting anywhere with my relationships, maybe its time to start on my career.

Is it too late?