New Year Resolutions

Year end is coming soon. Yes, besides all the parties and yummy food that I will be stuffing into my mouth, there is also this thing called New Year resolution.

No doubt, I never seem to remember my resolutions shortly I made them. But this time I shall make easy ones so they can be achieved easily hehehe…

Resolution 1:
Get into my boss’ good books = Get a good appraisal – Get a good bonus

Though it is abit too late now to do anything about this (because I think she has already graded me), but then, it doesn’t harm to get into her good books now, in case I don’t manage to find another position, or another job in the next year, then at least I can get a good bonus?

Resolution 2:
Lose 10kg….

…..Make that 5 wahahaha… Ok la, if I can manage 5, I am more than happy already.

I have signed up with Amore. Believe me, I am starting my first class this Saturday.

Resolution 3:
Learn driving.

My mum has been urging me to learn, so I can chauffer her around when my lazy brother refuse to. She even offered to pay for my lessons! Hahaha.

Mum: Money is one thing. Making the effort to learn is another. But then, since you so want me to learn, I will make it my New Year resolution this year to learn.

Resolution 4:
Take up a course to upgrade myself, or learn a skill.

What, is a very good question. I haven’t thought about that myself. Give me some time…

Resolution 5:
Read more. Gain more knowledge.

Okok, some of you will say that I already read a lot. But all those that I am reading now are for leisure only.

I need to know more things. I feel like a frog in the well now. I need to improve my geography, in case next time someone ask me where is Liechtenstein and I don’t know.

That should be about it for now. Will add on to the list if I can think of anymore.

Boss coming back tomorrow…

:((

..........................................

Okok, I shall stop whining and work hard towards my New Year Resolutions now!

Bad Bad News

I just received a call that dragged my mood to a new low.

Boss just told me that she will stay in Singapore longer, because Mr Workaholic wanted her to attend some launch on 8th December. So she wil stay here till 10th December, instead of going back to China on 4th December as planned.

8th Decmber! 10th December! The eve of my birthday she wil be around!!! HOW CAN THIS HAPPEN??????

Chow workaholic! Why ask my boss to stay so long??? Purposely one!!!!

And I thought I could shake leg and enjoy my birthday week....

Super SIANNNN........

Reflections

Yesterday, as I was doing all my chores, and making sure Elfie eats his dinner, and bathing him, it suddenly dawned on me that I have never really done anything significant in my entire life. As in, what have I done that will make people remember me, even when I am gone, or not by their side? Nothing. Zilch.

Serious, When I was a child, I always lived in the shadows of my sisters. I was always whose whose whose sister.

When I went to secondary school, I always hid in the shadows of my friends.

When I was in Poly, I was a little more outspoken.

When I did my degree, I opened up more to others, including Beach Gals.

But even then, I did not do anything that was very significant at all. Up to now.

Relationship – Needless to say, nothing at all. Oh yes, a huge pile of mess, a body and soul full of scars.

Family – This I can say I have put in a little more effort than all the other areas. I think we have grown closer these recent years.

Career – Pui pui pui! I pui myself, can? I am just an unambitious, lazy bum, who doesn’t know what she wants.

LBT ever said, (if I remembered correctly) that nothing is not achievable, as long as you put in a little more effort.

I am ashamed to say that, I have never really put in a lot of effort in my career at all. Most of my energy, I channeled to relationships that were not worth mentioning, or even worth remembering at all. I have wasted a great portion of my life doing all these worthless shit! And got nothing in return at all.

SIGH……

I always complained about my boss. But I think, a lot of it actually comes from myself. If I had only put in that little bit more effort, I think I will be able to handle her relatively well. She will even love me! Ahahaha…

Since I am not getting anywhere with my relationships, maybe its time to start on my career.

Is it too late?

The Impatient Me

Just encountered another 2 carcasses of my arch enemies again this morning. Strictly speaking, not carcass yet, because they were still moving! But it wont be long…

Why is it that they are re-surfacing again after only such a short period of time? Is it because of the rain? We have fixed the rubbish chute door, so it cant be from there. Or can it??

I will seriously consider a man who will block them from me, help me get rid of them, clear their carcasses for me, my hero.

I just read Elaine’s blog, and she mentioned that men should at times, be slightly chauvinistic. I totally agree with that statement! *Applaud Elaine*

I am someone who doesn’t like to make decisions a lot. When I can, I will give this important task to someone else ;p.

When I go out with a guy, I prefer him to make all the decisions, from where to meet, what time to meet, to ordering food and drinks, unless there is something specifically I want to eat or drink.

For those of you who want to date me, please do not bother me with all these nitty gritty things ok. Please have a proper plan, and know what to do, instead of everything also ask me to decide. I like to just follow, ok?

(I was blogging happily this morning when I was rudely interrupted by a colleague usually based in China, and is back for some reasons, and decided to sit at Bubbles’ desk. For the benefit of those who don’t know, Bubbles is outstationed, so her desk is empty. AND HE CAN SEE WHATEVER I AM DOING!!! So I had to stop drafting my post and pretended to be hardworking. Continue after lunch!)

For that matter, I am not an indecisive woman ok. On the contrary, I think I make decisions quite fast. I really don’t like to be婆婆妈妈 you know. So I really hate it when other people are. Yes, I am a damn impatient person. All my tolerance has been lost over the years. To what, I don’t know. Maybe its accumulated, and once I start losing it, it goes like running water.

Like when I ask someone what to get for lunch, ‘随便’ is a common answer. But if I ask 3 times, and I get the same answer 3 times, I get fed up. And that person better eat whatever I buy or else!

Ok, I know I do the same sometimes, but I don’t think I will give that stupid answer if I am asked 3 times. At least I will say ‘whatever you buy’, or whatever comes into my mind at that time.

Like when I ask someone whether free or not, wanna go out, many times I get ‘看先’ for an answer. Well, 看 what? See if you got other dates, if not then you agree? Not first come first serve one meh? I am your reserve? How long must I wait for your answer? Right till the last minute? Fat hope! I will ask the next person already.

Like when I ask someone wanna meet or not, very often the next question I get asked is ‘Who else is going?’. Ok, I understand that not everyone is sociable and like to meet people so it’s a relevant question to ask if you know you are being invited to a party you know that many people you don’t know, or dont't know very well, will be attending. But if you know that its an outing with a group of close friends, why do you still need to ask that question? Is there someone you don’t want to see? Or am I not good enough a companion for you? I don’t know.

And when I do find my other companions, please do not complain that I have change of heart ok.

All I know is that I get damn impatient and fed up easily nowadays.

Well, yes that’s me. The damn impatient me.

Family Trip 2

We are planning our 2nd family trip over Chinese New Year. Any suggestions, anyone? Where can 5 adults, 1 elderly woman, 3 kids go for a holiday?

No beach resorts if possible, because I have not fully recovered from the sunburnts on my head yet…

Probably not a place that celebrates Chinese New Year, so that the shops, if any, will be open when we go there.

Beach resort is a last resort… If we cant think of anywhere else to go. At most, I will hide in the shade all day long, which I don’t mind hehehe… I also don’t wanna get any darker than I already am!

Anyone heard of Bandung Resort? My sis said it’s a mountain resort in Indonesia. If you have been there before, or knows what we can do there, please let me know ya.

Thanks in advance!!!

Bosses Are All Fickleminded

Being a secretary means you have to put your boss’s wellbeing ahead of anyone else, including your own.

Bosses are all known to be fickleminded, no question about that. Its just the degree of ficklemindedness that differs from boss to boss, and how well they can take ‘no’ for an answer.

I think if all secretaries/PAs come together and write a book on how fickleminded a boss can be, the list will go on and on and on ahahaha.

Well, here is mine (to be fair to other bosses, because they might be better now, I shall just base it on my current boss):

1. The top on the list will definitely be - flight booking. Boss can never make up her mind which flight she wants to take. You will have to book at least 3 different flights for her all on the same day, going by different routes, to the same destination. Then she will decide how they want to travel. And she ‘decides’ does not mean tat there will be no further changes made anymore. She can suddenly decide to go somewhere else, or suddenly prefer to go by yet another route one hour later. She thinks that every airline will reserve one seat on every flight for her specially, so she can decide now where and how she wants to fly, and get the seat confirmation.
2. She cannot decide how she wants her filing to be done. One minute, she wants 3 copies to be printed, and filed in 3 different places. The next, she complains that there are too many copies floating around, and she feels confused, and wants just one final copy of the document. She has no f@%#king idea how long it takes to make 3 copies of the same document and file them in 3 places, nor does she know how tedious it is to retrieve all 3 copies of the document and consolidate it to one file.
3. This is filing related too. My boss has lots of magazine holders of documents. After shifting to a new office, which is relatively smaller then her previous office, she finds that she should make full use of space and put everything into one magazine holder wherever possible. But after 1 week, she was looking for something, and she called me into the room and scolded me for putting 2 different things into 1 magazine holder. I looked at her in bewilderment. She had personally put the things in herself. I DID NOT TOUCH ANYTHING AT ALL. But she had clearly forgotten about it.
4. My boss, being high up there, has lots of entertainment to do. And being entertainment for the company, of course she will make the expenses incurred for such events. My boss, being her, can seldom decide on the spot how she wants to claim those expenses. Sometimes she felt that she should claim under entertainment; at other times she feels that she should just claim under travel expenses. Sometimes, I will have to do, and re-do, and re-do her expenses at least 3 times, before she is satisfied, and endorses it.
5. My boss has high expectations of me. I think I did blog about this before, that she expects a human with 8 hands to be supporting her. One moment, she asked me to do something for her, URGENTLY, the next she starts lecturing me for something not quite my fault, and expects me to be standing there listening to her. Then, she will ask ‘so have you done that URGENT thing?’ OF COURSE NOT LA!!! If I said I have done it, I think she will be more scared than happy.

I think I am not good enough for her. I think she expects more from me. I think she would have preferred an alien with many hands, or an Octopus at least, to assist her in her work.

I think I need to undergo a surgery in order to do my job better. A surgery to implant more hands, and the ability to split myself into 2 or more when necessary.

Any recommendations, anyone?

知足常乐

I had yet another very close shave with my arch enemy, Mr Roach again.

I was preparing to bring my baby for a walk downstairs. After putting on his harness, leashed him, sling his outing bag over my shoulder, I opened the door and went out. After making sure the door is closed, I happened to just glance down at my shirt. And saw 'him' clinging on to my shirt, right at the chest area!

How 'he' got there, dont ask me, because I DONT FRIGGING KNOW!!! 'He' was those red colour kind, not the brown kind. Same shade as my wooden door, which might explain why I did not see 'him' in the first place. I muffled a scream that almost became a deafening one (if I did not muffle it), and quickly shoved 'him' away. 'He' landed lightly onto the floor, and crawled hurriedly away, while I dragged Elfie away as fast as I could, looking back every now and then to see if 'he' still followed us.

Those whom I have told, and those who have read one of my very earlier posts, will know that I have a 'very intimate' relationship with Mr Roach. More initmate than alot of my friends, in fact. Not that I want to, because I have no wish to be associated with them in any way. But for some reasons I have yet to find out, they seem to take a liking to me, or rather, I seem attractive to them. Just like the jerkish men I meet.

Nice things seldom find their way to me. And if I try too hard to get to them, I will just get more disappointed. SO, I tell myself to be contented with whatever I already have, and everything else is is bonus to me. That way, I will be happier.

Right?

Boring Skin...

Just trying my luck if I can post a short blog at home... If you see this, Means I can, la...

Ping asked me why I never changed my blogskin. I know this one is boring, Ping, but I dont know how to change to a nice one without those funny characters replacing my punctuations. I want my nice Rose skins too!

Time to pressure D... kekeke

Not Fair!

One of my friends told me that there is a Victoria Secret Sale at a building near my office this weekend, starting today. I very excitedly pulled M along to see if there is any good stuff to grab, during lunch.

We happily walked to the building near our office, to discover that the queue at the cashiers was already snaking round and round and round. How horrifying!! Still, I wanted to see if there is any good buys. I saw CK Men’s briefs going for $10 (too bad I do not have anyone to buy them for now. Ha!), Mango Ts for $10, Adidas sweaters going for $15, and more and more and more…

BUT, the crowd inside was too much for me to bear. I am someone who doesn’t like crowds, and avoid them at all costs. You will never see me in town area on a weekend, unless I die die have to go. Crowds gives me headaches.

Anyway, the stuff were more like factory outlet quality. The tags were cut off, or a hole was made to cover/camouflage the brand name. So, I guess its not worth me fainting over shopping here.

M and I quickly walked out of the store and decided to grab some lunch nearby. M said that she needed to get something for her boss. It was her boss’ birthday!! And she had no idea what to get. She asked me, someone who has not worked with her boss before, and never spoke more than 10 lines with her boss before, what to buy.

I could only give her suggestions. Afterall, she should be able to know what her boss likes or dislikes better than me, right?

As we walked back to the office, I pointed out to M the shoe shop that I thought had very nice designs. I couldn’t resist stepping in when I saw a pair of red checked shoes. So pretty! But then, I managed to step out without buying anything, because my shoe rack is already full and almost tumbling down due to being overloaded with shoes.

WHY? Why do women have to own so many pairs of shoes, and still want to buy more? Men can own 1 pair and that can bring them anywhere for more than a year. Why do we women have to coordinate everything from hair accessories to clothes to handbag to shoes? Why do we have to spend money on skincare and cosmetics on top of everything I just mentioned, and yet, our salary range is always lower than that of a man? WHY?

Its not f-a-i-r!!!

Taxi, Taxi

I met JS and GQ for dinner yesterday. We made this date last week when I bumped into GQ. Realised that we have not met for like almost a year?? Wow, that’s super long man, considering we used to meet every other week before. GQ told me that JS had broken off with her boyfriend of 5-6 years. I was a little shocked to hear that because all the while I had thought that they were perfect together, and for the past year or 2, they had been living together. Well, you just can never tell what lies in the future, do you?

As usual, I had to rush home to feed Elfie first before I can meet them. I cabbed back, cooked and fed Elfie,and cabbed again so I wouldn’t be too late. I must say this – ALL taxi drivers should take a test before they are allowed to drive a taxi around. A test of familiarity of Singapore’s road. And they should be trained to get their passengers to their intended destination in the fastest time/shortest route possible, without asking too many questions.

I admit – I am a taxi queen. There are many reasons why I take taxis:

1. Lazy.
2. Hate crowded buses/trains.
3. Rushing for time. I am someone who doesn’t like to be late.
4. Not familiar with the place I am going to.

I hate it when taxi drivers ask me ‘要走哪里去？’, the moment I sit in the cab and tell them my destination. For me, as long as I can get to where I want to go in the fastest time, I am fine with any route. Whats more, I am not very good with road names and directions, I am always at a loss when being asked such questions. And I hate it more when taxi drivers take advantage of that, and purposely drive me on a tour round Singapore before getting me to my intended destination. I feel like telling them ‘Excuse me. I am Singaporean. I don’t need a tour round Singapore, which I have to pay extra for.’ I mean, I may not be good with road names and directions, but I know it when I see it ok. I just don’t know how to say it. I know it when I am being brought on a wild goose chase ok!

Once I sat in a cab with this driver who obviously knows where I want to go, but keep saying he doesn’t know the directions. Every corner he turned, he asked me if he should turn or go straight. Judging from the speed he was driving with, it doesn’t seem like he wasn’t sure lor. And its pretty obviously that if he goes straight instead of turning when he is supposed to, we would be in a totally different direction already. Please lor, this is not the way to earn money ok, taxi drivers!

The taxi driver that took me from my home to our meeting place told me the moment I sat in the cab that he was new on the job, and don’t know his way around very much. Oooooook… I was going to orchard Road. YOU MEAN YOU LIVE IN SINGAPORE AND DON’T KNOW HOW TO GO TO ORCHARD ROAD AND YOU COME OUT AND DRIVE TAXI????

I don’t believe it lor. Anyway, this time I KNOW my directions so I gave him specific directions how to get there. Then…. HE WAS DRIVING BLARDY SLOW LOR!!! 50km/hr. Nevermind, I 忍.

As we were approaching my destination, I told him where I wanted to stop. HE BLARDY TOLD ME THAT HE CANT STOP THERE COS ITS BUSLANE!! Please lor, its already past the bus lane time. And there was no blardy bus behind us. He stopped me 2 buildings away from where I wanted to go. And I had to walk such a long way (I told you I am lazy ;p) back to my destination. When I alighted from the cab, I slammed the door so hard I think he must have had a shock. Hahaha.

Yes I know, I am a blardy bitch.

I Love Shopping!

I have been shopping a lot lately. The online kind. Plus the normal shopping kind.

What I bought:

Scrapbook stuff
– Papers from Made With Love – 60 bucks
– Frame, embellishment, stickers etc from Scrapbook Cove

Body lotion
- Victoria Secret Strawberry Champagne body lotion and body splash

- Bath & Body Works Black Raspberry body cream and body splash (in the process of getting)

Facial Masks
- SKII Mask

- SKII Eye Mask
- Red Wine Mask
- Milk Energy Mask

And this is my loot for my past 2 weeks only…

Godma I started me on scrapbooking. I have done some pieces, but they are too ugly to be shown to the public, so I shall keep them private and for my own eyes only hahaha. One day when I feel confident enough to display my work, I will post them here.

Scrapbooking is an expensive hobby. Very very expensive. Every trip I make to MWL, I will spend at least $50 on materials. And that is very rare. Rare meaning usually I will spend hundreds of dollars there. Now, I have got lots of papers, some tools, some stuff for decorating my pictures. And most of it still sits at home on the table. I take them out occasionally to admire them, and then put them back into the box I store them in. I just did 2 pieces for E’s wedding, but because I did not have the frame to frame them up, I did not give them to her on time. Nevermind. That will be her Christmas pressie from me hehehehe.

I am a sucker for body lotion. I already have loads of them at home, and 3 more Natural Source Sugarcane Body Whip at Elfie’s Godma I’s house, but I am still looking for more. Why, I do not know. Maybe I have a big body ahahahaha. BUT, I have to clarify this point – I DO use them regularly. I love to slab all those cream on my body and smell like heaven afterwards. The feeling is oh-so-good! Also, all this is to keep my body moisturized and smooth like baby (I wish!). I so hate to feel dry and see my skin like fish scales. Yucks! That’s a no-no for me. Which is also why I started to invest heavily on hand cream (I have 1 in the office, 1 in my bag, 3 at home, which 2 are still unused) and foot lotion. I love the smooth feeling of my feet everytime I finish a pedicure.

See the names of the body lotion that I ordered? Don’t they all sound so delicious? I am currently using the Bath & Body Works one and I so love the smell of it! Too bad BBW doesn’t deliver to Singapore addresses… sobsob…

Those who know me well will know that I love tissue masks. I have loads of them at home. All kinds of brands. And yes, I am still buying more. Collagen mask, Rose mask, Red Wine mask, Rice mask, Whitening mask. All I have. What else do I need? *tapping chin*

Like that how to save money?

A Pleasant Surprise

Drafted on 21 November

Today I met J, Y and M (Yes you shall all be Y, J and M!), my ex-ex-colleagues for dinner. We were going to eat the famous Ang Moh Kio crabs! I had been craving for it since June, but never had the occasion/opportunity to go eat. M had ‘secretly’ come back from US since Hari Raya, and it was a good excuse to go all the way there to eat crabs. Perfect!

I told Y that I would be late because I had to go home and feed my baby before I can meet them. Nearing knock off time, the sky threatened to rain. Sure enough, it started to pour as I was in the cab home from office. I rushed through cooking and feeding Elfie, and rushed out again with brolly in hand to try to catch a cab down to Ang Moh Kio.

They had already ordered the food when I arrived. We caught up with one another while waiting for the food. M had lost some weight. She is now teaching in a childcare center near her house. Which I thought was very suitable for her. M is a very bubbly girl, who always likes to laugh. In fact, I have never really seen her not laugh everytime we met.

Everytime a plate of crabs came in our direction, we will say ‘Its here, its here!’. But Its always not ours. Everytime we see a bowl of crab bee hoon, we say ‘Its ours, its ours’, but its always not ours. We waited for like another 15minutes before our first dish came – 风流鸡. Its like some Thai style chicken, tasted quite sourish. This dish was ordered mainly for J, because shes allergic to seafood. But then we were all so hungry that we started to eat whatever was on the table.

Yam ring was next. J tasted it first. Then her face gave that ‘yucks’ expression. The exterior was not crispy enough. She commented that it was the worst she has eaten. I tried it. Yam lor hahaha. Well I am not a yam person, so maybe J knows best.

Next dish was the sambal kangkong and the fried mantou. Fried mantou was meant to be eaten with the butter crab gravy. BUT, our crabs were not here yet. Mantou came too early… Special toufu was next. This was also meant for J, but we discovered there was prawn in it, so she could only see us eat…

Finally, our butter crab came. Y, M and I stared at the crab for a few seconds before we dug in. It seemed not so nice anymore, we all agreed. The gravy was not so think anymore, the spiciness was not there anymore, the oomph! feeling was not there. But then, the crab was still very meaty. Yum!

Crab bee hoon next! This was still as good as before. M declined to eat because there was alcohol in it. J, despite it being cooked with crab, drank the soup, risking the danger of her lips being swollen.

As we started to dig in, J commented that my nails were so nice, how to eat crab like that? I just told her nevermind la, some of it was already chipped anyway. Little did I know that it was all in their plot of the night…

Y suddenly asked me who the ex-boss that was hitting on me was in my blog. I nearly choked. ‘Wow, they read my blog’, I silently thought. I told them a little about it.

After we were all satisfied (except maybe for J), Y suddenly turned and asked me “Rose, are you ready?’

I stared at her blankly and asked ‘Ready for what?’

Y: ‘Just say you are ready!’

Then I knew.

They planned a surprise early birthday celebration for me! So sweet of them! They never failed to do it every year. But this year they really caught me by surprise. Touched… *tears in my eyes*

See what they did for me.

The envelop

They DIY everything!

The creative card

M's well-wishing

J's...

L, blessing from Taipei!

Finally, Y, the super OE girl!

And see what they got me!

Another envelop!

A DIY gift voucher, from Nails In Love, the nail salon I frequent! Note: all names have been blocked to prevent harassment from unnecessary parties ;p

Y revealed the truth. They don’t really follow my blog regularly. -_-''. She only did some last minute reading to see what they can get as a gift for me. See how useful a blog can be? Hahaha.

Sigh, they are really such adorable people, arent they?

Oh, and J got me another present.

100 ideas for my blog! Hahaha. Ok, I promise, I will be less boring, once I finish the book. Wait for me k!

*************************************************************************************

Bubbles and Gangster are planning to go into business. What, I am not gonna tell yet hehehe. But on one of their recci trips, they got me an early birthday gift.

So sweet of them too!

Sigh… It feels so good to be loved… Muahahahaha!

HP and Me

HP and I used to be close. Why I said ‘used to be’, and not ‘are’, is because I suddenly feel that we are so distant now.

Maybe its because she felt neglected during the times when I was busy with work. I admit, I will sort of just shut off from everyone everytime my current boss comes back. Because I know that I will be frustrated and get short-fused most of the time. Because I know that I will not be able to make any appointments for myself. Because I know that I will not have any nice face/mood to show anyone. That is why I prefer to just keep off everyone’s track.

Bubbles is different. Because she sits right behind me. I guess there is no way I can avoid her, or vice versa. But I guess she has gotten used to my short-temperedness and constipated look whenever my boss comes back. And she has learnt to ignore me everytime I show that face (right Bubbles?).

Maybe its because I have my own commitments now – my baby be the major one. I am a dog lover, and a responsible one at that (chey!). Since I have made the important decision to get one, I should take up the responsibility of taking good care of it. From feeding it, to bathing it, to grooming it, to exercising it, to playing with it, I would like to be responsible for it, if I can help it.

My mum helps me take care of my baby when I am not around. But when she travels, which is quite frequent nowadays, I will have to take full charge of baby. Especially the feeding part. Since I started him on HCF, I have to make sure that there is someone home to cook for him everyday. If not, I myself will no matter what go home and feed him first. And being the lazy me, once home I will be less likely to be out again. Unless someone offers to come and pick me up and send me home. Yes I am pampered, I know.

Having told my mum to try to be around when my boss is back (she also knows that I will not be able to make it home early when boss is back), she will try to travel only when my boss is away. Having said that, my boss back and my mum traveling means I will not be able to meet my friends very often, unless its later in the evening, or someone comes pick me up and send me home.

Like now, my boss just went back, and my mum has gone to KL again.

In fact, I think the people I spend my time with most now are my dog lover friends. Usually we will bring our dogs together, let them play, while we talk amongst ourselves. That is our favourite past time.

HP said that she missed our dinner dates we used to have. That was before I joined this workaholic boss, and before I got my baby. Maybe I really did neglect her after all the changes made.

Nowadays, both of us are quite aloof with each other. But, of course, when we do meet, we still joke and laugh like old times.
Maybe, we have both grown up.

Maybe, we have both made changes to our lives.

Maybe, things will never be the same again.

But, one thing I am sure of, is that no matter what misunderstandings we have, or how we may hurt each other in the process of growing up, we will always be there when one of us needs the other to be.

Thats what friends are for, isnt it?

P/S: I know people reading this are people who knows HP and me. I know HP also reads this. I know this may cause abit of a commotion. But this is what I am feeling right now. MAYBE, I am just being too sensitive, as always.

E's Wedding, My Ex-boss, My Current Boss (Updated)

Today is THE day. Last day of the year I will see my boss, I hope ahahaha. Since she will be kept busy for the whole of December, and I will be taking the last few days of the year off, I think that should be it.

Basically, I shouldnt be complaining too much, since I dont see her as much as the others do. But then, I guess my tolerance for nonsense has dropped to a record low. Just a little teeny weeny bit of nonsense will send me to hysterical mode.

Am I getting old?

Yesterday was the wedding of my ex-colleague, E. I was appointed as one of her Ah Yees, so I went to her house early in the morning to ‘send her off’ to her hubby’s place.

I was a little late, because I was trying hard to hide my tan lines, but to no avail. Guess I have to go with it.

I thought it was a bit quiet for a wedding. In fact it was the quietest I have been to. There were only 2 other Ah Yees, besides myself. One of them is another ex-colleague, K, who joined me in the fun of saboing the groom. The other was an ex-classmate of the bride. She was happy to remain behind the scene. So in actual fact, only 2 of us were ‘working’. For some reasons, the bride’s sisters (the real ones) did not join us.

The groom and his brothers were quite sporting. They just did whatever we asked them to. But because K and I were not very prepared, we just let them in when we ran out of ideas.

Everything went on quite smoothly. Just some minor hiccups here and there, but no major issues. I knew that E was a demanding girlfriend, but then now I know her hubby really gives in to her a lot. Seeing the way they talk, the way she demands things from him, the way she ‘reprimands’ him when things went wrong (though she is never like that with us ;p), the way he accepts everything, including her ‘unreasonableness’, I am sure that they will live happily ever after.

The morning affair ended much earlier than planned. We went off to rest and get ready for the dinner. I went home to catch some sleep, woke up at 4pm to do my hair. Simple one as I did not want anything too elaborate. Then I went home to change and doll up for the night. I was having some trouble wearing my dress. I couldnt zip it all the way up without help! Called my sis and asked her what time she would be back. She had kindly agreed to come back to cook dinner for my baby. I asked if she could be back earlier, to help me zip up! She said ‘What a reason to ask me to come back!’ -_-

Anyway, all set to go for dinner. I wanted to attend the solemnization, because I realized that I had always missed that of all of my best friends’ due to recep duty, or other responsibilities assigned. This time, I was determined to witness it. I went up to the suite and saw that E was all ready.

It was a beautiful moment. Nothing beats the touching moment when a man and a woman make their vows to love, care for each other for the rest of their lives. Although nowadays, such vows cannot be really relied upon anymore…

After the solemnization, L, K and I went down to assume our recap roles. It was quite simple, because we were doing the bride’s friends and colleagues. The bulk of the guests were from the groom’s side (Total of 55 tables).

Ok, I shall cut a long story short, because suddenly, my mood for blogging has been affected by the sms my boss sent me. All meetings after 5pm. Means her day starts at 5. Means my day starts at 8am, and ends at 12midnight, if I am lucky. Sigh… My poor dog… Hope my bro can be home early to feed him for me.

Can I start work at 5pm too then? I can put in the same number of hours, 5pm – 2am, no problem.

I know Bubbles, that I am already lucky that I only have to face her like 1/3 of the year. But then, when I knew that my pre-predecessor has been asked to make a choice between her job and her religion, I already knew that in my heart, I do not want to work under such a selfish, unreasonable, workaholic boss for long. She doesnt have a life, that I know, but I still want mine. Who knows, one day she might ask me to choose between my dog and my job. My choice is obvious. Make a guess!

Anyway, here is THE ‘interesting’ part of the dinner last night. Remember the smses exchanged between me and my ex-boss? I knew that I would meet him yesterday, and I had pre-empted L, K and E to camouflage me when necessary. But I knew that saying ‘hi’ was inevitable, because he was just sitting at the next table. True enough, he saw me and came over to give me a hug (I thought it was just a casual hello hug, you know the ang moh style). Then just talked about miscellaneous stuff,, and I escaped back to my table. I had also pre-empted D to come fetch me if necessary. He had agreed.

I thought all was fine and over and done with, with my ex-boss. I was smsing D to see if he was on the way, when L saw my ex-boss smsing too. She exclaimed softly ‘He sms you ah!’ I shook my head vigorously ‘NO LA!’. I was happy too soon. 10 minutes later, I got an sms. Thinking it was D replying me, I opened the message and read it. I froze again. The all-the-goosepimples-in-my-body-starts-to-surface feeling overwhelmed me again.

It was my ex-boss.

H: You look lovely!
Me: Thanks
H: Whats your curfew tonight?
Me (after looking at my watch, which shows 10.30pm): 11
H: Lets go for a drink. I will send you home after that.
Me (Freaking out): Sorry, but I am meeting my friend.

Wahlau eh! Speaking of the devil lor, L! I quickly smsed D and asked him to meet me at the lobby NOW. After telling E I HAD to leave, and she understood, I left the dinner.

I told myself I will never reply any of his sms anymore.

That’s all for the dinner for now. Will post pics and tell more when I have the mood to. Now, back to brooding…

PMS mode surfacing…

************************************************************************************

Ok… I shall take some time to quit brooding over something I cant change and continue blogging about dinner. Nothing much. Just some random thoughts that I can remember here and there.

Pictures! I didnt take much, so enjoy the few I did bother to take.

This is my outfit for the day.

This is the boy who opened the car door for the groom.

He is vvvvvvvvvvvvvvveryyyyyyyy adorable. He blushed when I said he was handsome. Hahaha. We kept teasing him. Abit shy, but he is responsive. Like we asked him to roll on the bride and groom’s bed. He did.

We asked him to hold the bouquet to pose for us, he did, though he felt it was sissy.

The twins! The more well endowed one is the bride’s sister, the other is her cousin. Very cute pair too!

The bride, resting her tired legs. She is not used to wearing heels, so I can imagine…
Bride in a daze...

Eating mee sua with egg and smsing

Dumpling

My outfit for the dinner. Now I do feel its abit too revealing… Maybe that’s why HE got the wrong idea… But then, how come the other guys never??

Our chauffeurs for the day were the groom’s cousins. The one that chauffeured me was a younger cousin. I tried to strike conversation as it was getting a wee bit too quiet in the car. He told me that he had an identical twin brother, who was supposed to drive the third car, but couldnt make it the last minute. He said they were so identical that very very few people could tell them apart. I saw them during the dinner. Really very alike! Except the one that drove us was darker, his twin was abit fairer. During the photo taking session, he came to ask us to position ourselves. I asked him jokingly, Which one are you? He said ‘The one that kenna saboed by you this morning la!’ Hahahaha.

The groom’s father is a distinguished business man. He had associates from Hong Kong, Malaysia and China coming all the way here to attend the wedding. He also invited Minister Lim Hng Kiang. Some of my ex-colleagues were very impressed by the kind of respect he commanded. We joked that the bride also has lots of associates from all parts of the world to attend her wedding – America, Vietnam, Philippines, Thailand, India… Ahahahah! My ex-company is very multinational one!

Before I had to run off to escape ‘ahem’, I managed to catch the sabo bride and groom time at our table. We just did something simple – drink! They mixed white wine, red wine, brandy, and coke together. 2 full glasses. 1 glass to be shared among us girls, the other one by the groom. The groom played cheat by pouring some from his glass to ours. Nevermind, we have more people to share! But in the end, I finished like ¾ of the glass, because the rest only drank a sip each! -_-

Luckily I can hold my liquor well enough! Hahahah *smug look*

Okie dokie! I think that’s about it. If I can remember more, I will add it on!

To HP, Cher, Bubbles, Ping, D, and all of you out there, have a good day and week ahead!

Shopping in Marina

I had been shopping for green dress/top and a dinner dress for my ex-colleague’s wedding this Sunday. Being the usual fat me, I found myself to look disgustingly obese in whatever I tried on. On Wednesday, after lunch with Travolta, I went to Marina to attempt to buy something that I can wear and still look okayly good in.

I went to Robinsons first. Tried on a dress which Bubbles chose for me. It was nice, fitted quite snugly, but it was a tad too long. That was choice 1.

Then I walked to Marina through citylink. Nothing much inside there. I tried on 2 dresses in BYSI. Yuckily fugly. No-no.

Then I stepped into Marina. I tried on a few pieces of casual dress in this 3-in-1 shop. Looked ok, but somehow I felt funny. So I left the shop emptyhanded.

I saw BYSI again. Then something green (which was the colour for daytime) caught my eyes. I walked in and tried it on. It’s a green tube with patterned strips. Theres a mock collar, which made it look quite unique. A bit of retro feel. With a belt across the waist (though I dont have one). I have kept off wearing tubes because I thought they made me look very very fat. Gave me an extra pair of breasts on top of what I already have. But then, this one I tried looked really quite ok on me. And I tried an ‘S’, mind you. Do you know how long it has been since I last wore anything in size ‘S’? I cant even remember myself! That’s it. I bought the tube.

The I started thinking what I could wear with the green tube. White skirt? I walked into M’Phosis and took all the white colour skirts and went into the fitting room to try. I knew it was a mistake the moment I tried the first piece. It doesnt go well with skirts at all. Then I started to panic. What can I wear it with then? I walked out and looked at the whole shop. Whites pants were next. But I did not want long white pants, because I know I wouldnt wear them again. Bermudas were the next choice. I took all the white colour presentable bermudas (not those really casual ones, but those more formal ones) and went into the fitting room again. Ok. Looked quite good. I actually liked one with strips, but then it doesnt go well with the green stripes, so I decided on a plain white one. Daytime clothes gaodim!

Now I have to shop for a nice dress to wear for the dinner.

I walked past Zara, Mango. Peeped inside but there wasnt anything that caught my eyes. Esprit. Nothing. I walked past the shop where I bought my last dress. Everything inside looked so flashy, I really dont know what attracted me to step in the last time.

I turned a corner and saw Warehouse. There should be many dresses inside, I thought. Sure enough, I saw something I liked. It’s a halter neck dress in green. Since I was wearing green in the day, I thought I would wear other colours at night, so I took a maroon one.

This one is a size too big so my boobs looked droopy. I took a smaller size.

Piece number two: a silver tube dress with embroidery. Nice, then I caught a glimpse of the price tag. $500+! Heck. Try first then say.

Piece number three: pastel green tube dress with gathers in front.

This one also a size too big, but I din really like it, so I didnt try a smaller size.

Pls pardon the fat arms and body. And the tan lines. There is nothing I can do about the fates now, but I will try to powder the tan lines away on the actual day...

I thought I looked the best in the maroon one. Maybe it’s the colour. So I bought that.

So, thats my shopping for friend’s wedding experience.

Boring post isnt it? Other than the cleavage, which I guess wouldnt interest anyone but guys. Hahaha.

Real Woman

Yesterday Bubbles, Cher and I met Travolta for lunch. Main purpose was not really to meet Travolta, because we had already met her for dinner on Sunday (btw, she conned us there, making us think that there is a cute baby waiting for us, but in the end, she did not bring lor!!!). The main purpose was, well, to see the cute baby hahahaha!

See how cute she is? Adorable isnt she?

Travolta has really changed a lot from the bo-chap, never-get-married, dont-want-children, to the now happily married, ready for Riggle Junior No. 2 mummy. She has been trying hard to convince Bubbles that Motherhood is fun and enjoyable, and not that scary and ugly Bubbles imagined it to be.

Bubbles is worried that her offspring will turn out ugly. Weeeeeeeell, Bubbles, no matter how ugly, I am sure that you, as the mum will still find them beautiful. No child is ugly in any parent’s eyes.

Like I told you today, my neice was not born pretty as well. She took after all her father’s features – small eyes, round face. Not pretty at all, I told myself. But then she still grew up to be an adorable little girl. See?

I think she is pretty. Even though she is not drop dead gorgeous (erm… though now is still too early to say la hahaha), but she has this adorable character that makes everyone love her. She is talkative, so she can talk to anyone and everyone about anything. And she can be sensitive and sensible at times, which simply makes you adore her more.

Bubbles also worries that pregnancy will make her ugly. Weeeeeeell, I am sure that you will find that everything is worth it when you see your children, hear them call you mummy. Big nose, wont remain big forever. Pregnancy fats, well, just have to work harder to get rid of them lor. Labour pain, Bubbles, they say that only when you go through that, then you become a real woman.

Wanna become a real woman? Have babies! Muahahahaha!

Famous, I Am Not

Bubbles saw someone left some comments in my blog and said that the person is quite mean. Well Bubbles, if you intend to have a blog that is to be seen by everyone and anyone, I guess then you have to expect all kinds of nonsense from some of them. I mean, having read other people’s blogs, I think I have not got the worst of the nasty comments, yet.

Honestly, I dont think my blog is very interesting. Quite boring, in fact. But its my thoughts and feelings for the day/week/month, so its up to me how I want to write, correct? As long as in the near or far future, when I look back into the archives, I can still remember what happened, how I felt then, I think I have achieved the purpose of my intention to start a blog.

And no no no, my intention is definitely not to get famous, to let everyone know that I have a blog, to let everyone know what happens in my life. If you read my blog, you will realize that I dont mention names, not even my own. Only people that I know will know exactly who is who, what is what.

Being famous is for sure not what I want. Please lor, even with people I know, I am already quite shy, not to mention with strangers, I will be completely silent. Anti-social, you may say. Maybe. Even close friends like JB-ren knows that. Thats why I am always left out of her social events that she holds with her other group of friends. Maybe she is worried that I may portray a very anti-social attitude, and her other friends may not like it. Or maybe she is worried that I may feel left out, which I definitely will not be, because I am usually contented sitting in a corner, listening to what others have to say.

I only have a lot to say, when I am with friends that I have known for donkey years, and am comfortable with. With people whom I am not comfortable with, they will probably either see a mad woman keeping quiet and smiling to herself the whole day, or a bitterguord face that looks like she may cry any moment.

Yes, I have a bitterguord face. Many people who don’t know me well, will always ask me the same question: Are you alright? Did something happen?

No lor, I just have a bitterguord face ok. Cant expect me to keep smiling to myself the whole day when there is nothing to smile about, right?

Some comment that I look fierce when not smiling. Yes, I have got that comment since young. Infact, fierce and bitterguord are the 2 most comments I receive. How sad… Hahahaha

I was feeling bored one day and I was flipping through my old stuff. And I saw… My primary school autograph book! 2 of them actually. Reason is: I changed school when my first one merged with another school which I hated. So I pestered my mum to change me to another school. Stoopid reason right? Hahahaha

I realized that in my first autograph book, half the names were people not from my own class, but from my 2nd sister’s class. Why? I have no idea. At that time, I did get along quite well with her friends, even went out with them sometimes. Maybe then, I was a little more social hahaha. But then, that also shows that I am not so unpopular as I thought I was right? Hahaha

In my 2nd little autograph book, most names were familiar, if they left any names at all. Funny things was, many of my ‘friends’ just signed off, without telling me who the hell they are. I mean, am I expected to be able to decipher their signatures years later, like now?? Strange people…

But looking at these 2 little autograph booked did bring back memories of my primary school days. Those were the ‘i-friend-you, i-dun-friend-you’ days. Filled with lots of fun and laughter, no doubt of that. I still remember in those days, people liked to pair couples up, even though the couple may in fact hate each other to the core. I recalled I was ‘paired up’ with this boy whom I didnt really liked, and once when they were teasing us again, I just screamed ‘He is not my boyfriend ok!’ and ran to the girls’ toilet to cry. What happened next, I really cant remember. But I do know that after that, we were playing happily together again. Hahahaha… Those were the days…

Now, both my primary schools are already no more in existence. One of them has become the BB Headquarters (any idea where;p), the other one, converted to an examination center.

Another strange thing is: I never seemed to have bumped into any of my primary schoolmates before. Where have they all gone to??

Hey, if you are from any of the primary I mentioned above, graduated in 1986, please do leave me a note ok? Who knows, we may be long lost friends hahaha!

YAWWWWWWWWWWWWN

If got yawning competition, I sure win todaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay....

Everything Must Match!

Look what my baby did to my heels!!!!

This is the 3rd pair he has chewed. And for some reasons, he prefers to chew on my black heels. So now, I am left with 1 pathetic pair of all black shoes/heels! GRRR!!!

As most men will already know, women can never live with only one pair of shoes in one colour. Take me for instance. I have 3 pairs of pink/lilac shoes, 6 pairs of black/grey shoes/slippers (used to be 9), 2 pairs of beige, 3 pairs of white, 1 in turquoise, 1 in green, and some I cant remember what now.

It is not because we love spending money, that we have so many pairs of shoes. It is easy for men to dress up, but for us women, we have to spend time coordinating our clothes. We have to see whats the occasion, match the color, match the pattern, match the bag, match the shoes. Not easy ok. Try dressing up a woman one day, and you know its not. When people throws you looks of envy when you hold a woman you dress up, then you will start to appreciate the time we women spent dressing up for you. Then you will realize the long wait for your girlfriend/wife to get ready for a date is worth it.

Not that I want to own so many pairs of shoes. I dare say that none of my quite so many pairs are the same. Some I bought, because I need them. Like black, is a definite basic pair you will need. Some I bought because they are pretty. Some I bought because some days I walk out of the house in very mismatched clothes and shoes, which I will realize then will look for something that is matching.

The same goes for bags. I believe many of you women out there owns more than 5 bags. Me? Countless. Although the ones I used are usually the same ones hahaha. Well, thats because my bags are kept high up in the compartment right on top of my wardrobe, and its very troublesome to get them out. So I just stick to, and rotate among what I have below, which is 2 black, 1 beige, 1 white, 1 dirty green, and 1 dinner bag.

Other than that, I am also a everything-must-match-or-be-the-same-brand freak. For example, shampoo and conditioner must be, or preferably la, the same brand. If I am using Sunsilk shampoo now, I will definitely buy a Sunsilk conditioner. Never a Pantene with Sunsilk. Or Elseve with Ascience. Always the same brand, same line.

Same with skin care. I am a loyal fan of Biotherm. My basic skincare, and some other essence, all Biotherm. Only the paper masks which I use quite diligently, are from different brands. Cant afford to buy those from Biotherm hahaha.

Speaking of which, I realize that I am already not doing a lot to my skin. What I have now:

Cleanser
Toner
Day essence
Day Moisturiser
Sunblock
Night essence
Night Moisturiser
Eye cream (which I admit I am not very diligent with)
Weekly exfoliator
Weekly essence
Miscellaneous paper masks
Wash off mask

Dont wow at my list, because I have seen much much longer lists in one of the forums I frequent. Mine is nothing compared to some people there. Guys included.

I am also a sucker for body lotions, moisturizers, body butter, hand lotion, hand cream, and anything of that sorts. The time I went to Phuket, I bought nothing but shampoo, conditioner, and lots of body moisturizers! Hahaha… Oh, and I still have 3 tubs of Natural Source Sugar Cane body whip waiting for me at my baby’s Godma I’s house! Woohoo! That should be enough to last me for like… 2 years?

Another thing I love to do – Manicure. Oh yes, I love it so much. Its one of the I love most to pamper myself. See my latest nails.

French Manicure - Red with Silver tips

The same red with nail art on both big toes

Bubbles said my toes looked like there are nsects on them. Hmm… yes I think they are too chunky too… Maybe next time ask them not to put so much :)

The place I do it now is called Nails In Love at Jalan Membina Barat, right opposite Tiong Bahru Plaza. I always enjoy my sessions there, not only because I find their service and skills quite good, but also because the 3 girls there always make me laugh a lot when I am there. I remember once when I was really down, I just wanted to shut myself away and enjoy my manicure. The girls there talked and joked so much with me, I totally forgot about my troubles. I like the way they are – simple, happy, enjoy what they do.

Ok, I am going to stone my day through. Woke up at 5.30 today to come into office early. And I slept at like 1.30 last night…

I need my beauty sleep…

Maybe...

I know how easy it is to fall in love, but how many can actually keep the love going strong? Love that only lasts the split seconds, is it still love? Or only love that is everlasting can be considered love?

Is it always easier to stray than to keep in the same track? Is the grass on the other side always greener? Is it always things that you dont get is always the best? Is it always hard to cherish something/someone that you already have, or gotten too easily?

I have realized since my first break-up that there is no wound that never heals, nor is the I-will-never-love-another-again is really true. Because there will definitely be another, and another, and another. But why is it that I still have grown-ups, and supposedly mature people telling me the same thing, and expect me to believe them?

Maybe they think I am stupid…

Maybe I really am… Hahaha… Maybe I want to be stupid…

Maybe…

Sometimes

Sometimes, when we touch, I can feel the affinity between us. I do not know how you feel about it, but to me, it was a gesture of closeness, of knowing that someone is looking out for me. I do not have to be afraid that people will knock into me, or worry that I will trip and fall. Because I know that you will block me from any oncoming traffic, pull me and hold me back when I trip.

Sometimes, when you say something, I do not know if there is some hidden meaning behind it. Or should I just take things wholesale as how they are related to me? Am I thinking too much, reading too much into things?

Sometimes, I feel brave and want to just risk everything I have got and go ahead with how I feel. But the moment I think of how the consequence may not turn out to be what I hope for, I chicken out. I cant afford to lose what little I have now to something that might not even be in existence.

Sometimes, I wish I have the courage to just drop everything, and go far far away, where no one knows me and start all over again. But the moment I think of how much I have to do here, I just cant leave everything behind. I have my so many commitments that I dont even dare to leave the job I so so hate now.

Sometimes, I do not know if you are being serious when you keep talking about things that I feel you will not do. Are you just trying to test my patience, or simply trying to get me back so that you can someone there for you as and when you feel like it, and leave me alone as if I am non-existent when you feel not like it?

Sometimes, I wish that I can be nonchalant and ignore all the nonsense happening around me. But I cannot pretend that nothing has happened. I get affected easily, and in turn, affect the other people around me. I wish I can just ignore everything, can I?

Sometimes, the more forbidden an act is, the more desirable it becomes to the forbidden ones. You wish to know how it feels to actually do it, yet afraid of getting caught, getting reprimanded. Is it that feeling that makes the act even more enticing?

Sometimes, you somehow already know the outcome of some things. Yet, you will still go ahead and do it. Just for the sake of doing it. Even if you know that there might not even be an outcome, you will still want to try. Maybe thats why so many people are addicted to gambling, for the feeling of ‘achievement’, when you think that you can actually change the outcome.

Sometimes, I think I use my brains too much (after storing it so well for so long), that I feel tired easily. I hate to think, and make decisions. I need someone to take care of everything for me.

I am hungry now. Can someone please go up to the meeting room and ask them to finish the blardy meeting so I can leave this blardy place now?

Sunday Burnt

It’s a Sunday, and I am in the office. I know, I know. Working on Sundays may be a common thing for many people out there, but not for me lor. Dont understand why I cant say no to my boss.

She called me on Friday to ask me about the meeting today. She asked me not to lock her room door because she MIGHT need something in her room. Then she paused for a while and said ‘Actually…’ I braced myself for what I knew was going to come next. ‘Will you be available or not? Can you be there? Just in case I MIGHT need you to help me do something.’

Thats my boss. She doesnt know what she needs me here for. But she just wants me to be here, JUST IN CASE. Damn ‘just-in-case’….

And my colleague just told me the gathering time for tomorrow is 7.15am. Shit man! Means I have to be here… latest 7am! Means I have to wake up at 5.30am! ARGHHHHH!!! How long havent I been awake so early???

There goes my shopping for new digital camera and dinner dress plans. Better go home early to snooze tonight…

Am I A Blardy Racist?

I was so so so so busy today, that I did not have the time to drink water, go toilet, or blog. Now I can understand why my colleague who has gone on holiday stays back late everyday. The stack of paper in her boss’ room is enough to keep me busy for the whole day, needless to say she has tons of other work waiting for her to do.

I felt so bad today… I actually told a friend to ‘rescue’ me from an event tonight. He was someone I knew from Match.com. We chatted quite abit and talked on the phone for a few times. He seemed like quite the perfect guy. I was all ready to meet him already. BUT! Suddenly he asked me if I knew he was Indian….

For those who know me, you will know that I die die also wont date an Indian. Not that I have anything against them. I am fine with having Indian friends. But having one as a boyfriend, or as a lifetime partner is a different story. I have always told myself that I will marry a Chinese man, if I ever do get married. No Caucasian, no Malay, no Indian. Only Chinese, and Chinese only. I am a rather traditional woman, and I only believe in marrying someone from my own race.

Usually, the race is one of the first few questions that I would ask, because I wouldnt want to waste his time, or my own time. But somehow, in this particular case, I totally skipped this question. I couldnt even detect anything when we spoke on the phone. He really did not sound like one.

I was a little shaken when he told me that. I even joked with him.

‘Dont bluff.’ I said.

‘Its true. I thought you knew after talking on the phone.’ He said.

He asked if I still wanted to meet him. I said ‘Sorry, but no.’

For some reasons I do not know, he seemed to be quite smitten with me. He sounded really disappointed and sad when I changed my mind about the meeting. He was actually planning a rather romantic night, and was all excited about our first date. And I had to shower a whole tub of cold water on him.

I really felt bad. Still do. I know how it feels like to be rejected for some reasons that you have no control over. I know it feels like shit. And I have just hurt someone in that exact manner.

Rose, you deserve a real hard kick in your axx.

P/S: I managed to get off the event because I was so so so busy, I still had a stack of papers on my desk when the rest were leaving. Sigh, is it good or bad?

Rare Species

It has been a busy day for me, but I am happy being busy today. Because I know what I am busy for.

I am covering for a colleague who has gone on holiday. Maybe because her boss didnt have very high expectations of me, as I was only a stand-in, but I still felt that this boss is a nice one. I believe if it was my boss, she would have screamed her head off already (Although I have not done anything that would have made this nice boss scream his head off).

It has been so long, since I felt the happiness of being busy, being useful, the feeling of having contributed to an organization, to the business.

Usually, I think even the temp guy next to me is more useful than I am. (Side track a little: today it was my handphone that kept ringing, when my PC made that someone’s-handphone-gonna-ring-soon sound, so I am happy with him hahahaha)

Usually, I am a high class printer. I print and I print and I print.

Usually, I am a walking thumb drive. I save and I save and I save.

I ever mentioned to R the kind of work I am doing. She said that my company must be very rich to employ me with my kind of salary to do the kind of work I am doing for them. I just smiled. Well, I am afterall, a high class printer cum walking thumb drive what. I am a rare species, you know. You dont get a lot of such species around you know. Of course you have to pay higher to get this kind of quality.

Being one of a rare species is not good news. Because rare species either get extinct very soon, or get exterminated by the not-so-rare species because they are not so popular with them.

I think I better do something about it, before I get extinct, or get exterminated by the more popular species.

Sad...

Someone said dont wanna see me... Sad.....

No Life? Get One!

I have been reading quite a few blogs for the past months. Some regularly, some as and when I felt like it. Sometimes, I read the comments that people give to the blog-owner as well, just for fun and out of boredom. It struck me that many people out there, have no life of their own like me. Reading other people’s blog, is fine, because I do the same (hahaha), but then giving negative comments, to the point of lecturing people, is a different story.

I mean, you are only reading it from a website. How much of it is true or untrue, you wouldnt even know. What gives you the right to tell the blog-owner how right or wrong he/she is? Unless you know the person, and you know what happened exactly, then I have nothing to say. But if you are just a stranger who happened to chance upon the blog, then just read it for fun and laughter and out of Kpo-ness. If you want to drop a comment, please do write something constructive, or, maybe something that’s harmless. Please do not go around scolding / lecturing people when you are not even sure what exactly happened.

If you really have nothing better to do, then why not try to get a life of your own, instead of looking at others’ and criticizing theirs?

I am glad I am not someone famous, and that not many people know about my blog. Because I am sure that I will not be able to be strong like those I read, and be nonchalant about the criticism they get.

I Hate Whiners

I was running late this morning (again) so I took a cab to work. Unfortunately, the cab I flagged down happened to have a whiner-driver.

I hate whiners, maybe because I am one myself muahahahah.

He kept saying how long he had been driving around in my area without a single passenger, how there are many passengers in Ang Mo Kio area, how much he had been losing out driving around without one.

I couldnt be bothered. I thought silently: What about the times when there are so many people trying frantically to flag down a cab, but all the cabs without passengers just drive past without even looking at the line of people waving like lunatics down the streets? What about the times when everyone is trying to get a cab, but empty cabs just come to the taxi stands and say ‘change shift’, and drive away empty?

Ok, this is the time when I should be feeling sorry for the cab drivers, because it is so hard for them to make a living, but I dont. My hard-hearted moments…

HELP!!

I know I am blogging a lot today, but there are too many random stuff happening, and I just put my thoughts here as and when I feel them.

I just had a shock jab.

My ex-boss has asked me out for dinner to catch up loooooooong time ago, but that did not materialize because of many factors. So I texted him to ask if he was in town.

H: I am out of town, but will be back next week.
Me: Ok, text me when you are back then maybe we can arrange something?
H: Cool… How is ur job?
Me: Terrible… my boss is hard to please…. Thats all I have to say. I know how nice a boss u r now…
H: What abt ur work?
Me: My boss is based in China… blah blah blah…
H: Oh so you work alone a lot… Not sure why u want to meet me? You like me or you not sure?

That last reply of his shocked me a lot a lot a lot… Am I being too sensitive, or did I send him a wrong signal or what? How was I supposed to react to that? So I replied him.

Me: Huh? Meet u to catch up. U r a nice boss and friend…
H: Cool. Will call u next week when I am back. Thanks for the compliment! :)

HELP!!! I am very scared leh!!!! I dont want to meet him anymore caaaaaaaaaan? Who can save meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?

Bitch!

Dont know whose handphone, silent mode, keep receiving smses today. Make my PC make those noise, make me anticipate sms or calls, keep looking at my handphone, but nothing comes in. Must be that temp guy, always talk on the phone with his friends, what hot chicks, what check them out. KNS, not say he very hot himself.

Temp guy, please keep your handphone far far away from my PC can? Dont make me anticipate then be disappointed can? I am supposed to be the one receiving sms when my PC makes that sound. I am supposed to be the one who gets many calls and smses. You are supposed to be working hard, not talking to your friends about chicks. If you continue to do this, I will go and tell your supervisor about it.

I know I am being bitchy.

Just Wine

Just a little update:

This is the place M brought me for the wine.

http://www.justwine.com.sg/

Just one point to note: For the Turf City branch, not very convenient if you are not driving. I havent got a clue where the other branch is.

My Tiny Little Spaghetti Top

Look what Bubbles bought me!



Chocolates!!!!! My favourite!!!! Yummy!

Why only left these few, is because I have eaten some.. Actually now only left 3, because one of the wrappers is actually empty.. Hahahaha I only saved it for the photo!

How, tell me how to lose weight when I keep feeding Bubbles sinful breakfast, and Bubbles keep buying me sinful snacks?? Hahahaha.

I have signed up with Amore, but have not made the effort to start any class yet. Nevermind, I have 3 months’ grace to start my program. Also thinking of taking up more sports. Blading? I have to buy new blades. Mine, I have thrown them away because they have grown rusty, and I think the wheels wont move anymore hahaha. I asked Bubbles about hers. She said probably the wheels have fallen out hahahahaha.

Badminton, anyone? Ms HP, when are you gonna book the badminton court again and let us play at your CC?

What else can I do? Swimming? I don’t mind, but then I will need to invest in a swimming cap. Because my hair is already dry enough as it is. And I will have to swim very early in the morning, or very late in the evening, when there is no sun, because I do not want to be tan. I am already not very beautiful, so I can only try to maintain myself the way I am now hahahaha.

I feel bloated and ugly… I know I am not very fat la, just that I have big arms and thighs, and tummy. That’s all. Not very fat la. Hahaha!

Who am I trying to kid??? I cant even squeeze into plenty of my clothes now. But I still keep them, telling myself that one day, one fine day, I will be able to squeeze into that tiny little spaghetti top again.

Tiny little spaghetti top, wait for me ok?

Dream Guy

My luck with men has never been good. Either I meet them too late, or they are simply jerks and bastards (pardon me for my language).

For some reasons I do not know, I attract a few calibers of men:

1. Married men – Somehow, married men find me attractive. Maybe these are the men that are truly unhappy in their marriage. Maybe expectations change after marriage, and when expectations are not met, arguments occur, and so, these men find the meek, chin-chai, sensitive (sometimes), understanding me very attractive. Hahaha… I am getting more thick-skinned…

2. Mature men – Maybe I have aunty look, older aka-more-mature men find me alluring. Please, someone tell me this is not true…

3. Men out for fun ONLY – Or, maybe I have the CFM look, men who are out for flings and ONS tend to ask me THE question. Is it meh? I got that look meh? Please also tell me this is not true…

4. Men who are out to ‘depend’ on women – Does my face say that I am very rich? Or very generous? Or very gullible? First 2, I dont think so right? Last point, I guess in a way, yes lor. I tend to be rather trusting, so I seldom will question people, unless I am really suspicious.

So you see, not that I dont want to get hitched and settle down. How to settle down when all the men I meet are like that?! Ask me to be mistress, I buay gum wan. Ask me to be part time lover, I cannot, because I am those that will call as and when I feel like it. Sooner or later, will kenna slapped by the wife. So how, you all tell me?

Good men, who dont want? Mr. A, for instance, is a good man (Although he would have scored minus points for straying). G, for instance, is also quite good. Just that he keeps looking around, and asking the impossible from me.

And as for my good neighborhood friend D, he is also a good man. But then, I repeat myself again. D IS ALREADY TAKEN. If not, you all think I still sit at home and rot meh??? I would have chiong all the way to make him mine already loh! Not taking into consideration he is younger than me, AND he is only friggy 51 kg! (Ooops! Sorry D! For revealing your weight to everyone! ;p) How can my guy be lighter than me???

My dream guy?
At least 170, weigh between 70 – 80kg, depending on his height.
Able to make me laugh.
Earn enough to let me be Taitai. Taitai meaning can dont work, go shopping when I like (bills all paid for), play mahjong, go travel once or twice a year, etc etc.
Be there when I need him to be (i.e. when I need someone to pick me up from some place etc)
Know how to have fun when its time to have fun.
Know how to be serious when its time to be serious.
Love dogs. Because I do.

What did I call him? Dream guy. Guy that only appear in my dreams.

Muahahahaha! Ok, I laugh at myself first, before you all do…

My Lazy Weekend

It’s the beginning of the week again, the day which most of us hates – Monday. Though I hate it too, this happens to be the start of a more relaxing week for me, boss traveling in US now, and she will be out of office for the following week. Yeah!

Last Friday she made me stay late because she wanted to start her day late – 6.30pm. Lucky she only had one telecom and had to rush back to pack for her trip, so I could go back at about 10pm. I met M for a drink. He brought me to this place at Turf City. It was nice and quiet. There was only one other table occupied besides ours. M ordered sausages for me as he knew that I had not eaten dinner yet. I seem to be eating sausages for the whole week since the Botanic Garden outing… But it was still yummy ;p

The guy that served us brought us our wine. He spoke to me in Chinese ‘You will like this. Its has a hint of lychee in it. Perfect for ladies.’ He was right, the wine was nice. Though I am not a wine appreciator. At least I finished the whole bottle, with M’s help of course.

M is quite entertaining. He told me stories of the times he was sailing, when he was in the army etc etc. I was listening all the while, because I was damn tired. We stayed till the shop was about to close then we headed home. M joked and said he would throw me into the ‘jungle’ and feed me to the wolves. I said he was the wolf hahaha. I was a little worried sitting in his car, because before meeting me, he was already drinking with his friends, and was already half drunk. But then, he managed to send me home safe and sound.

Nice guy, but gals, before you all get too excited, I don’t think he is the one for me. Mainly because we share very different values in life, and I dont think I can spend my life with someone who is permanently in a drunkard state.

Weekend was a relaxing and lazy one. I spent most day sleeping on Saturday. Woke up for my facial in the afternoon, went grocery shopping at Cold Storage, and home to cook for my baby. Met D for a movie at night. We had wanted to catch Sinking of Japan, so we finally saw it on Saturday. Th0se who are planning to watch, dont have too high expectations. Well, watching so many people die, is afterall, not a very good feeling. Especially when you see how everyone rushed to save themselves while trampling on others. Sad, sad, sad. It was a pretty predictable plot. Graphics were quite good though. The female lead was damn chio hahaha.

Sunday was lagi more lazy. Practically did nothing. More sleeping (I basically wanted to catch up with what I lost over the past week), bathed my baby, and spent time with mum. Went over to D’s place to watch DVD. Had wanted to pester him to do up my blog, but then end up I also felt too lazy to open my mouth to ask hahaha. So I just watched dvd, HBO, played with his 3 cute dogs, and relax.

Oh, his 3 dogs are so cute. Bubbles (Not the human Bubbles my friend, but his dog, a Shih Tzu, which is also named Bubbles) kept licking me all over. She always looked at me with those sweet innocent eyes, I just had to sayang her. Joy (another Shih Tzu) is the more reserved one. D had told me before that she had been away from him for some time before, so maybe during that time she suffered from some kind of trauma. But she is still fun loving, kept playing with her soft toy. I guess D managed to ensure her that he still loves her. Ode (mini schnauzer, though I kept telling D he doesnt look like 1) was the naughty one. He was the youngest of the lot, and most playful one. Kept disturbing his 2 jiejies. Bubbles and Joy will play with him, but when they get too irritated, they will scream at him hahaha. Cute! Elfie was damn jealous when I got home. He kept sniffing me all over, like inspecting me inch by inch. Must be Bubbles saliva all over me hahahah.

I had wanted to get a companion for Elfie too, but I am also worried that mum may not be able to handle them when I am not around. One Elfie is enough to drive her crazy, I cant imagine another dog if he/she is as playful and unteachable as Elfie.

I got a call from DD last Friday. I had been avoiding all his calls and not replying his smses. But he called my office number. Although I have caller ID at work, it was unexpected, and I usually pick up my calls quite fast, so I ‘accidentally’ picked up his call. By the time I looked at the caller ID, it was too late.

He had been sort of updating me with his life all the while, though I do not know whether to believe or not. One moment he told me he lost his job, the next he felt like dying. One moment he told me he was in hospital for a major op, few days later he was up and about going for an interview. How to believe him, tell me? He asked me why I never replied when he told me he was hospitalized. In my heart, I was glad I didnt because obviously it was a lie to me. For what, I dont know. He asked if we could reconcile. I told him a straight no. I know I couldnt trust him anymore… And I didnt want myself to get hurt another time. So I told myself to be very, very choiceful before I get involved in a new relationship. Afterall, it concerns my future happiness. If I cant ensure that that person is able to give me happiness, I would rather stay alone and make myself happy.

Nevertheless, I will keep looking out for that person. If you have someone nice, please do not hesitate to contact me and let me know ok? Haha

Why Are We Waiting, Why Are We Waiting....

*Yawn yawn yawn*

Couldnt stop yawning today. Think I can just yawn non stop for hours and hours to go. Hope I can leave early today. Blah! Why must she fix the teleconference at 6.30pm??

Sometimes I think it is very inconsiderate to let people wait for her indefinitely. I mean, we have work to do too. Ok, maybe not me, but others who REALLY have work to do, instead of wasting time sitting around waiting for her.

I know that she has a zillion things waiting for her to do too, so all the more she should understand that time is precious, right? But NO, sorry, her style is: Let them wait lor, they can wait one what. I was a little stupefied when I first heard that. Because I am not one that will waste other people’s time on purpose. This is one thing that I strongly disagree on.

A half hour meeting can become a 3 hour meeting. A meeting supposed to start at 3pm can start at 7pm. 4 hours of plain waiting. How many things can you get done in 4 hours? Plenty I believe.

Well, who is the boss here?

Tired Week

*YAWN*

Its been a tiring, tiring week. Been working late (And I really mean LATE) whole week, and when I had the chance to go back early yesterday, I had to stupidly agree to meet my ex-colleagues for dinner…. Just dont know how to say NO. Or maybe I wanted to go out, after being cooped in for so long.

Was supposed to meet them last Friday, but I totally forgot about it until K called me on the day itself and asked me ‘Have you forgotten about our date?’ I kept quiet for like 5 seconds before she said ‘Keep quiet for so long means yes la’ and burst out laughing. They couldnt make it too, lucky for me. If not, I kenna the crime of being forgetful and heartless ;p

K passed me the blood pressure machine after like half a year, and E passed me her wedding invitation. She is getting married in… 2 weeks time! Shit, and I have not lost a single gram of the fats in my body!!! Sigh, guess I will just have to appear the way I am now. Shit! And she said there is this rich and available man in her hubby’s brother team. Grrr!!!! Oh well, if he likes me, he will have to like me the way I am hahahah. If not, too bad la!

I am craving for a lot of things…. Crabs, hokien mee, ice cream, mala steamboat, beef noodles… The list goes on. Sigh, how can ever lose weight when I keep craving for all these sinful food???

Gangster asked me if I wanted to go Shenzhen. I toyed with the idea and was rather tempted. Then I realized boss would be around on those days she proposed… Sigh… Plus I have to cover for another gal who will be going on leave the same week. So its fated that I cant go. In December, I promised Gangster. If I do not go then, I will never have the chance to go before she comes back. Yes! Gangster is coming back! Just a question of when now. Should be soon.

Gangster was very funny. Because I asked her some questions, like if I were to go over, how should I do it so the others will not be suspicious of our relationship? She replied ‘Ya, I also thinking of how to hide you’. Muahahaha…. I not easy to hide lor. Think I can hide in her pocket meh… She said I could hide in her washing machine. Yeah right…

I think I will be resting at home most of the weekend. Made appointment for my facial on Saturday already. Hope it will be a good session. Sunday, probably go watch movie with D. Then go home early to catch up with my beauty sleep. I desperately need it.

So long everyone… Catch up real soon. Cher, jia you! We wait for you to go party ya…

Perception

I MSNed with a friend last night. To me, this friend ‘sounded’ a little upset, because some things were not working out as well as thought. I called this friend this morning to check if everything was ok. This friend said not feeling upset, just telling me what this friend thought and felt. Just wanted to say out, and not bottle up.

This set me thinking. Many times, I, and I believe many other people, tend to jump to our own conclusions, and act according to our assumptions, not knowing how another person may feel differently.

A person may seem to be weak and need protection, but in actual fact, that person is perfectly capable of fending and taking care of oneself. If another person just feels that this person needs protection, and just keep protecting this person, this person may ironically feel suffocated/obligated by the other person’s protection.

A person may seem to need help. But this person may prefer to solve the problem by self. If another person just assumes that helping in own way IS helping this person, that may not be helping at all. This person may not want to be helped, or the way the other person is helping may not be what this person needs help in.

A person may appear to be meek, cowardly, and not voice out own views. But this person may just be quietly thinking, and not intending to make known views. This doesnt mean that this person is scared of anyone or anything.

Bubbles, love given freely is never wrong. Its just how the receiver sees it. Everyone has a different perception of things. How you feel, may not be the same as how another person feels. The giver may be giving out of the context of a caring friend, but the receiver may think that there is more to it. Well, I guess there is nothing more straightforward than just saying everything out.

I sound very complicated dont I. Do you all know what I am talking about???