Expressionless Face

Ok, I guess I was just damn pissed off yesterday. Pardon me for the vulgarity used in my last post.

Bubbles said I was getting old. She said that I told her I would buy breakfast today, so we could walk around during lunchtime. REALLY???? I genuinely cannot recall saying that. Must be the rage in me yesterday… Sorry Bubbles, I buy you lunch later ya?

Actually, I was in the mood to walk yesterday, because I felt like not working. But then, Bubbles was busy, so we just took a quick lunch and walked around the vicinity, which was nothing worth walking, really.

Not that I wanted to shop, although I do need another pair of black heels, because the one I bought was too high. I think it easily comes to 3 inches! And I don’t think I can keep walking in those, come a day should I need to do a lot of walking. So yeah, I need one more pair of lower black heels.

But, since I will be going to KL next week, I should tahan till I am there, and see if I can get anything, right? If not, I can always come back here and buy from good old Charles & Keith.

I took a bus home with Coliq-M yesterday. She had not been feeling well, and taking MCs quite frequently, as I see it. But then, I also suspected that she was going for interviews, which I told Bubbles. We both knew that she was not very happy with her work, and worse, recently, due to the reshuffling of office space, she had to decide which boss she wanted to follow. She supported 2 bosses and they would be at different levels after the move, you see. Suay suay, she chose the one that did not want to take her, so basically she had no choice la.

All these Bubbles told me lah, and of course I had to pretend that I did not know. When Coliq-M told me she had to follow the one she did not want to follow yesterday, she did not sound like anything. I mean, if it were me, I would probably show a black face whole day already. I am those whose face will show how I am feeling.

But Coliq-M was very expressionless lor. Yes, I knew she is like that before, but then, at that spur of the moment, I just felt that she is another dangerous character to be wary of. This kind of people, you never know how they are really feeling, what they really think of you.

I am a very simple person. What I say is what I have in mind. What you see on my face is how I really feel. And sometimes, I think I say too much, so much that it’s so easy for other people to anticipate my next steps. Easy to manipulate, I should say.

Maybe, I should learn to hide my feelings. To be like Coliq-M, face expressionless hahaha. Good?

Flower Power

2 stalks of Roses – Mutual Feelings

WTF!

LT just called to say that Mr. Y asked for my number. And she said ‘Don’t reject him if he asks you to go out ok!’

Wahlau! You mean I MUST go out with him if he asks? I cannot reject him meh? I cannot decide who I want to go out with, and who I don’t?

‘He will make a very good husband, I tell you!’

If he is so good, take him yourself lah. Or introduce him to your so many other single friends. Why me???

‘He is very caring. You see the way he chiong all the home just to get the extra helmet.’

Ok, I give him credit for that. But who knows, it may be them who told him to go home and get it?

And I cannot stand men who are shy. 3 times we met, and I think we did not speak more than 15 sentences. Not counting the time when I was drunk and talking nonsense of course. If I am the one who have to make small talk all the time, forget it, ok?

Another thing I cannot stand – his fingernails. No matter what excuse they gave for him, I still don’t understand why he has to grow them long, dig nose? I don’t know. I personally prefer men’s nails to be short and clean.

‘Don’t keep thinking that he is 4 years younger than you. I have friends whose husbands are 8 years younger!’

I don’t fuck care whether your friends’ husbands are younger or older, but I cannot accept it, ok?!

STOP PUSHING ME TO THIS PERSON CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nothing Much To Talk About

Nothing much happening recently. Nothing much to blog about. Bottlenecked. After not even one year of blogging. Maybe I blog too much, so that’s why I run out of topics.

Oh yeah. JNC bought me the book on blogging. Must go back and finish reading it to get some ideas kekeke (Ok, I confess, I am only halfway through it ;p).

I love this group of friends I have. They never fail to make me happy, and always full of surprises. The only thing I miss about leaving that company, is the many friends I have mad. I still keep in touch with quite a few of them.

Princess Pork Chops, Princess Chicadelic, Princess Ditz, Lost Sheep, GQ, YL, LA, MT, JNC, Bor2Lee.

They had a warehouse sale last Saturday, and I went to see what good deal I could grab. I met one of the retail leaders whom I have not met for a long time. Funny, because I frequent the departmental stores, but seldom bump into him.

He told me ‘I will remember you forever…. Because you did my diploma graduation project for me!’ Ahahaha. I almost completely forgot that I did his project for him, until he reminded me that day. Luckily he passed his diploma, if not I will be the main culprit…

He also said that he missed the days when we all were still around – lunch together, laugh together, chitchat together. Now, everybody minds their own business. Everybody lunch on their own. Everybody keeps to themselves. There is no bonding at all.

Of course lah, you think its so easy meh. Someone (like me ;p) has to take the initiative to gather everyone together mah. Someone has to make sure there is bonding time mah. Someone has to be the person who take care of all the shit work, and let them all go enjoy mah.

Funny how I managed to do that, because now, I am the anti-social one, not bothering about anything else outside the one meter diameter of my work space. Why huh? *shrug*

~~~

Flower Power
1 stalk of Rose – Love @ first sight

390 Million

Bubbles is back, and she updated me on her trip. She blogged about V’s BIG house, and she was still talking about it over lunch. I guess anyone would be awed by such an ostentation. If I have the opportunity, I would also wanna see the BIG house hehehe.

And, again to Anonymous from Bubble’s blog – Thanks but no thanks. I know who that guy is, and we have both given each other not a very good first impression, and I don’t think I wanna live with his parents high up on the mountain. ;p

I remember I had a classmate, who lived in a similar house in Singapore. Maybe not as big, but still big in my opinion, for a family of four. And as far as I know, that friend of mine does not have any maids.

There are basically 4 levels in the house. Or was it five, because I remembered there was a dining area, and a basement. Oh yes, Bubbles, now I remember, this friend of mine also has a lift in the house.

One level for his parents, one level for his brother, one level for that friend, one level living room + dining area. I can’t remember if they had any gym or swimming pool though.

If the father is on one level and wants to look for the son, he will intercom for him using the phone. Like how a boss would do to his staff. If I remember correctly, he ever told us that his father used to be in the military, not sure doing what. So maybe he is used to being ‘summoned’ like that. But for me, I just find it so… unfeeling.

That is just my opinion lah. Of course some people may like it, I don’t know…

Maybe, I wouldn’t be able to fit into such a household. As in, the background, culture, everything also tak match. I think, I will feel very uneasy staying there, if I ever marry into such a family.

Like, I am sure the things we talk about will be different.

Like, I am sure they will have a lot of socializing to do, which I hate.

Like, I am sure they have a lot of rules to follow, which I am also sure I will break all of them.

I am comfortable being just me. No pretense. No bullshit. I don’t need tons of money to spend (of course, if I do, it’s a big bonus ;p), and I don’t like to be doing nothing all the time. I think I will go crazy, and wish I can die faster.

Let me see, if I have the money, what will I do?

Hehehe, this reminds me of the conversation me, YL and LA had in Taipei, when we were chatting away in the late nights – What would we do if we struck 390 million? (Update: YL: reminded me that the 390 is in USD ;p)

Me?

I would open a manicure place. Everyday just indulge in mani/pedi. Them I would start writing my book. And if no one buy, I will buy them all and distribute to friends! Ahahaha! And I would also open a florist, and learn flower arrangement. And I would send my friends fresh flowers everyday, or once a week. LA and YL already said they would remember this and make sure I keep my promise ahahaha!

I would buy a house big enough for my mum and me. Erm, since I don’t want to drive, I guess we will stick to taking cabs. Oh yes, bring my mum to the places she wants to visit. Invite my bro’s Godparents, so she will have company, while I go shop or something ;p. Get Elfie a companion. No breeding, of course. Do some charity work, maybe.

YL would import clothes from Korea, set up a cart, and sell clothes. But her cart will only be in business from 11am – 4pm. Ahahaha! And she will buy a car, and hire a chauffer. Why she doesn’t want to drive herself, I can’t remember ;p. (Update: YL said that she is lazy! And emphasized that it has to be a mini cooper!)

LA… what did she say? I think she said she would go back to school, and study something, and travel the world. (YL also can’t remember what LA said, bah..)

Sigh… When will we strike that 390 million?

Weight, Hair, and Me

I put on my MSN that I wanted to slim down 15kg. Wahahahaha! Sounds a lot, doesn’t it? Everyone is msning me about it. Hahaha! But I think I need to. I miss the days when I weigh a mere 43. But then, that is totally not achievable now! Sobsob!

So I think, 48 is more achievable, and I guess, will look healthier. So… make it 10 instead of 15 lah. *Chuckles*

Note: I am not 58kg YET, by the way…

Hey, wasn’t that one of my New Year Resolutions? So, I should start to do something about it ya.

How?

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Eat less is for sure. I am sure I can do it.

Exercise. This is the difficult one. As you ALL may know, I have signed up for Amore, BUT have not gone for any class yet. So, it’s high time I start, else the membership will expire in September (I think), and my money will be down the drain.

I have signed up for dance class too. Street Salsa. Is that the same as the Salsa I always see on TV? I have no idea. Will let you know when I find out.

Walk my dog more. Well… This is also a form of exercise too, right? Hehehehe… Elfie happy, I lose weight, I also happy. Best of both worlds.

I am very inspired by Miko. Look how much weight she lost! I am sure I can do it too, with abit more determination.

Give me your encouragement pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze…

I am starting to love my short hair. Feels so much lighter. Save so much shampoo and conditioner. Drop less hair. Kekeke. I am happy!

But then, one thing still bothers me.

When I had long hair, sometimes, my hair will go into ‘restricted areas’. Like in between the ‘2 little hills’ in the front. I am the kind who cannot stand a little bit of itch and will start fidgeting if anywhere is itching. So, last time when this happens, all I need to do is to flip my long hair back.

But now, when I have short hair, and this still happens. Because they drop and fall inside, and stay inside, because of the obstruction to fall further down onto the floor. And I can’t just dip my fingers in, and pull the hair out. Because it is unsightly to do that in public you see.

Lucky where I sit in the office, there is always nobody around, so I can easily do that. I just hope that no one will suddenly appear from the corner, and see what I did, and tell the whole world about it.

‘Rose just pulled hair from her bra!’

-_-'''

Missing...

I like watching the sunset...

with the right person.

It feels good to be loved and missed. Doesn’t it?

I like it when you are missing that person, and your phone rings, and that same person is calling.

I like it when you call a person, and it seems to be just the right time to do so, because that person needs to talk.

I like it when there is no awkwardness, even if there is silence between 2 persons, and you are just enjoying each other’s company.

Too bad, sometimes, the timing isn’t always right.

I miss you.

Random Photos

My colleague gave me this box of strawberry mochi from Japan

Yummy! Bubbles, I will save some for you!

The Ferris Wheel is almost complete. I mean the skeleton of it...

Backfire

Last Saturday was my ex-colleagues’ third attempt at playing match-make. This time, it was to celebrate LT’s belated birthday, so we went out for dinner at Sushi Tei at Paragon.

I arrived slightly late because I had to feed Elfie (Mum’s out playing mahjong). And I was not the latest. Mr. Y (That guy they wanted to go park-tor with) was late, forgivable, because he was on night shift the day before, and just woke up from his sleep.

So we ate our favourite sushi and stuff, and LT’s favourite ice cream. She is crazy, I tell you. There were 7 of us, and she ordered 8 ice cream. After dinner, we can comfortable share 4 desserts and still have leftover, So you tell me, how to finish 8 desserts, when there were only 7 of us, and after such a filling dinner? But well, that is the LT I know. She wants, she orders, and we eat (because she simply puts it into our dishes and ‘forced’ us to finish the food). I am sort of used to it. And because I like ice cream too, I did not voice my objection, as I would have if it were other food in other occasions.

They had planned to go KTV after dinner, but because it was still early, we went shopping a little. But somehow or other, after some whispering among the rest of the girls without consulting me, they decided to go to LT’s house to play mahjong instead.

I not stupid, I know why they changed the venue. Because if we stayed in town area, I can share a cab home with LT, because we stayed near to each other, then Mr. Y would have no chance to send me home (if they made him). But if we were at LT’s house, he would have to send me home. So I am quite positive they came up with this plot, so that Mr. Y and I could have some quality time together, on the bike.

Little did they know that I was having a terrible headache that day, and had no wish to play such a noisy game or go on an adventure on the bike a second time…

So, anyway, we adjourned to LT’s house. Mr. Y did not arrive until much much later (I found out why later). And we played mahjong. Though I made it clear in the beginning that I did not want to play, they made me. And of course, Mr. Y. And LT, as usual, started her ‘interrogation’ with Mr. Y. How often he does night shift, what is his favourite colour, what car he bought, when was his birthday, what is his zodiac sign, etc etc etc. I really did not catch the conversation, because I was trying not to lose the game, and my headache was getting worse.

Finally, after one round of east, south, west, north, they let me off, and the guys played. We girls went down for supper, as EH was hungry. Then, I told them that I did not want to go on the bike that night, as I was not feeling well, and… I felt it was not very convenient…

But they insisted, because Mr. Y had not known that it was such a big group (He thought he was only meeting EH and hubby), and he knew that he would be sending me home, so after dinner, he rushed home all the way north to get his extra helmet, and then rushed all the way west to LT’s house. OK! That was enough to make me feel bad. BUT, I still felt uncomfortable because, … it was simply not convenient for me. And then the emotional blackmail began. ‘He went all the way home to get the helmet leh, you have to be appreciative/North is not near here leh/You should let him send you home, he went home specially to take the helmet one/etc etc etc’.

If they had left me alone there and then, maybe I would have felt bad later and just guai guai sit on the bike. But after saying so much, they just pissed me off, and made me feel that they are trying too hard to push me to him, or vice versa. I just kept quiet, as I did not want to argue. When we went back upstairs, I was ‘forced’ to play another round of mahjong. Mr. Y and EH’s hubby had gone for smoke break. When they came back, I couldn’t help but noticed the strong cigarette smell on him. And the fingernails on his pinkies… I really don’t understand why any men would want/need/have to grow them long. There is only one reason I can think of, and I don’t think I need to spell that out. So oops! Now I am totally turned off by him. Struck off my list. I am sorry…

You see my friends, try too hard, and the plan might backfire. I have told them many times – let nature take its course. But, this is clearly not nature’s course, because I can ‘hear’ them planning this and that, and making me do things that I am not willing to do. I am 吃软不吃硬kind, so, the more you force me, the more I don’t like, the more I turn away.

Oh, and I found out, he is not one, not two, but F.O.U.R years younger than me! My younger brother’s age! No way man! Although I don’t look my age (a-hem), even look younger than him (a-hem-hem), but still, psychologically, I am not prepared to date my younger brother.

So, if you will excuse me now, I need to think of a hundred reasons to turn down their invitation to celebrate his birthday in a few week’ time.

Bo Liao

Boss is still talking business in her room, at this unworldly hour, while I try to pack more files into the boxes provided. But as I packed, I realized that the more I packed, the more files seemed to surface, files that I have never seen before, or even known their existence before. Feeling the stress now, I decided NOT to pack anymore tonight. What a logic… Kekeke..

I sat down at my desk, and stared at my PC. Then I remembered Bubbles asked me about Mr. A. So I called him. He was stuck in a jam, on his way home, feeling frustrated and was halfway through smsing a complaint to the authorities. He started grumbling and grumbling about the jam. Then he apologized for grumbling, when I was the one who called. I told him its ok, and thanked him for curing my boredom. So it’s a win-win thing, he gets to grumble, I don’t get bored. And we continued to talk, while he drove home. I shall not bored you people with our conversation ya.

Until I heard the beep-beep-beepbeepbeepbeepbeep sound of his car reversing into his parking lot, I said it was time to say bye. He said ‘Wah! Like that you also can hear ar!’ Of course lah, I am not deaf, what… (This part, he asked me to write, so I did kekeke).

And so, now I am blogging away, in the silence of the night. What to blog about, hmmm… Let me think…

I really admire boss’s energy. At this time, I am usually tired, stoned, and can’t do anything much except stare at the TV, read a book, or sleep. But boss, is still talking and talking, full of energy. How boss manages to do that, I don’t know. Boss doesn’t seem to need sleep, or food, or water, or go to the toilet. Today is a big exception, because boss drank a lot of tea, and went to the toilet 3 times. Usually, within the day, I only see boss go once, or twice at most. And boss asked me to buy her food twice. Must go buy 4D and Toto.

No sleep, no food, no water, and yet still have such good complexion, no eye bags, no dark circles, not much wrinkles. How nice… I want to be like that too. How come I sleep so much, drink so much water, go facial, still got eye bag, and I can see some wrinkles coming out from I-don’t-know-where. This is not fair…

Ok, as you can see, this is really a very bo-liao post, just to keep myself occupied, while boss keeps on talking in the room. BUT, I think they are finishing soon. This is the last project they need to talk about. So I shall stop, and pretend to be working hard, so I can get good bonus this year. Kekekekeke…

Ciao!

Maybe...

Some things, I guess, can never be avoided. The more you avoid, the more it comes back to you. So I guess (again) the best way to deal with it, is to, well, deal with it, when it comes.

Guess who I met when I was getting some takeaway lunch just now?

My ex-boss. The one who suddenly ‘hit on me’, after I left the company.

Update:

The last I mentioned him was at EH’s wedding, where I literally ‘fled’ from the dinner venue, like Cinderella did, except I wasn't wearing glass slippers, and I didn't drop my shoe.

The next time he smsed me ‘Merry Christmas’, I did not reply him, hoping that he would stop if he did not get any reply. Which I thought he did. But no, after CNY, he smsed me ‘I forgot to wish you Happy Chinese New Year!’, to which, I ignored too, again hoping that he would forget my existence after that.

But, 人算不如天算, as I was walking to the order counter, I thought I saw a familiar figure sitting at the table near the main entrance, from where I was walking in from. And he flashed me his big smile. So, I had no choice but to walk to him and say hi, at the very least.

We had the polite handshake, and chatted abit, like how I was doing, how he was doing, his current secretary is leaving (which I already knew from my ex-colleagues) blah blah blah. And he found out that I was working at the next building *shivers*. I don’t think he would ask me out for lunch one day, would he?

And then I gave some excuse that I need to buy my food and get back to work, and ended our brief conversation.

Oh well, maybe he really did not mean anything by those smses he sent me. Maybe it was just a friendly gesture. Maybe he was just trying to be nice.

Afterall, he was with a female friend just now. Maybe she is his close friend?

Maybe…

Anyway, the first thing I did when I came back to the office, was to wash my hands with soap.

I am still the clean freak I am kekekeke….

P/S: Lucky I am not wearing that top I wore to take the picture of my new hair, or any other tops that are low-cut/translucent/revealing. If not, that wouldn’t be the end of the story, which I hope it is…

Something Meaningful

Something I read in one of the forums I frequent:

The Unagi sushi… & the rest

Let’s say my perfect sushi would be the unagi sushi, so I’m sitting at some sushi outlet with those conveyer belts, very hungry and with a huge craving for my unagi sushi. And then the conveyer belt continues to turn, but my unagi sushi is still nowhere in sight. And I see tamago sushi coming towards me, I see kani salad coming towards me, I see salmon sushi coming towards me… and I am so damn hungry.

I have a choice, to pick up the rest of the sushi plates first to fill up my stomach temporarily while waiting for my craved unagi sushi to appear. But the thing is, if I am to fill my stomach first with 3 plates of “miscellaneous” sushi, wun my stomach be too full for any more sushi when my unagi sushi appears? So I tahan and tahan while my stomach gets hungrier and hungrier as every second passes. And then one unagi sushi is coming towards me! But as hungry as I may be, the unagi sushi looks normal… and given my current hunger status, I would want to have a piece of unagi sushi with a mega piece of unagi on it. So being the stubborn me, I decided to let this plate of unagi sushi go and hope that a bigger and better plate will come along.

And after a really long time, I still dun see a better plate of unagi sushi, and that same normal plate of unagi sushi has already passed by me a 2nd time. But again, I decided not to succumb to my hunger and to stick by my ideals, waiting for the ideal plate of unagi sushi to appear in front of me.

And after the 3rd time the same normal plate of unagi sushi came by again I decided to take it off the conveyer belt and eat it, still with the mindset that I can always wait for the bigger and better plate of unagi sushi to come while I fill my stomach with this normal plate first. And to my amazement, it tasted like heaven! Maybe it is because I’m already so famished when I ate it, or maybe it is because it’s actually my perfect unagi sushi. And surprisingly, after I ate that normal plate of unagi sushi, I am already fully satisfied. I will not be waiting for a better plate to come along, because the really best plate of unagi sushi is already in my stomach. This plate of unagi sushi went past me a few times without me even considering taking it off the belt; imagine if I had insisted on waiting for a better plate, I would never have realized how wonderful this normal plate tasted. Or maybe it’s actually not a normal plate of unagi sushi, maybe it is already the best unagi sushi you can find on the conveyer belt.And I am so glad I took it off the plate before someone else does it. And because it’s taste is so heavenly, I would never ever eat another plate of unagi sushi.

Unagi sushi… I love you.

Another Me?

For some reason, I have been feeling very tired and sleepy for the past week. No matter how much I sleep, how early I sleep, it doesn’t help. Like last night, by 9pm, I was already half asleep, but because I wanted to catch my favorite CSI, I kept my eyes opened. But by the time CSI finished, and CSI Miami started, I couldn’t do it anymore. I told my mum, I am going to bed.

I read somewhere that drinking Coke too much is bad for your bones. *Gasp* I better stop drinking it everyday. I want to be able to stand straight when I am old. I want strong bones. I better start drinking milk, and take calcium pills now. *Makes mental note to buy calcium pills*

I also better, start exercising *smiles guiltily* I signed up for Amore, and till now, have not done any class yet. I better do so before the membership expires, I think in September.

That, shall be part of my diet plan. You know, all the clothes that I bought loose, have all become tight. I can’t stand looking at myself in the mirror anymore! Except maybe for my face ahahahaha. I mean, I have to look into the mirror to apply my powder and everything right? So it’s a no choice thing, not that I am so gorgeously beautiful that I can’t stop admiring myself, lah.

So, it’s high time I do something about it. Eat less, I can. Exercise, errrrrrrrrrrr… Ok, I can too, if I make myself start. *startexercisingstartexercisingstartexercisingstartexercisingstartexercisingstartexercising*

I feel that my arms and back are aching. Every night, without fail, I will feel it. I think, I need a massage. *makes mental note to make appointment*

I need to get started packing to shift office. Actually, I have started, lah. Just that some things, I really have no idea how to pack. So I pack those easier ones first.

I have so many things I want to do, need to do. Sigh, can I have another me to help me?

New Hair

With some inspiration from Eldest Sis, and encouragement from Mum and Bubbles, I decided to cut my long hair, short. So, I did some quick research on some salons (because the one I frequent is not opened yesterday), made an appointment and zoomed down to Marina Square to chop my hair off.

The result:

Bubbles made me take a few criminal photos. You know those that you see in movies when people go into jail, they will take a series of photos of their front and both side profiles? Bubbles said I can put this up. hehehe

What do you think of it?

Overdue Photos

Elfie chasing tail

Sentosa Trip

Ok, I am really bad at remembering names of animals and fish species, so please pardon me...

On the way in...

A fish that doesnt look like a fish

I know this is some kind of prawn, but I cant remember the name. It like flipping over to its back...

This I know! Spider Crab!

You may not be able to see it, but this fish is damn big.

If I lie flat, I think it's longer than me...

Erm... a crab that doesnt look like a crab

Smaller, not so nice jellyfish...

Jellyfish, the transparent, nice kind

Erm... the ugly, evil-looking silver fish

Pink dolphin show

At JNC's house last Wed


Chap Chye

Beef Rendang

Sambal Fish

Fried Chicken

Why?

I think, I am back to the state of mind, where I feel lost.

I don’t know what I want.

I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know what I want to do.

I have no aim in life, no purpose.

Everything I do, I do halfheartedly. I have never really put in a lot of effort to my career. I have never really put in more effort than I need to pass in my studies. What I live for, I don’t know.

I have always been one of those who hug the Buddha’s legs at the last minute. I studied the night before exams. Well, maybe only when I was doing my degree, I put in a little more effort, probably knowing that I was studying on a loan, and if I don’t do well, I can’t justify that.

I have never really put in a lot of effort in my work, perhaps knowing that all this is not what I want to do. I know I have to ask myself, and no one else can answer that for me – What do I want to do? The problem is, I really don’t know. What I really want to do is, not do anything, but that, probably is not the best answer, and I can never be able to survive if I do not do anything.

I probably never complained much before, because even if this is not what I want to do, at least I am given the freedom to do things freely, and I am happy to see the people around happy. I am able to settle my bills, and yet have enough to eat and play.

But now, I am stuck here, doing the same thing, but not as freely as I used to be. Maybe because the older I am, the more stubborn I become, the less submissive I am. If I do not agree with you, and I am forced to do so, then I am super unhappy, and I feel like shit for the rest of the day.

I need the money now, and I can’t afford to just leave without a job, and do something I want to do, but can’t give me the money I need.

And I am extremely unhappy to be doing what I have to do now. The only good thing is, I still have a little freedom for another few months. But I think I will have to think of an alternative soon.

Why do we need to have money? Why can’t everyone just give and take what they need to? Why do we need to work? Why do we need to do all these?

Was just commenting to a friend, that I probably would not want any children, because I don’t want to bring them to this world to suffer.

Yes, that will probably be my decision.

Surprise!

Ever since I grew up, meaning passing the age of 5, and understanding the meaning of birthday, I seldom get surprise parties, or any party for that matter. But this group of friends of mine, never failed to spring surprises on one another on our birthdays. JNC, YL, MT, and LA.

I remember the year after I left the company, I went for a gathering with these darlings, and they sprang a birthday celebration for me. And if you remember one of my post, last year, they did it again, with the manicure ‘voucher’ and beautiful DIY card.

We had wanted to surprise JNC last year, but somebody picha lobang, and she got to know about it. But nevertheless, we managed to do it a second time. LA, being in Taipei, is more difficult to surprise, but we sent her our well-wishes and present, and I think she was pleasantly surprised as well.

Yesterday, we celebrated YL’s birthday. Although it’s a good one month before the day itself, we decided to do it early, because, well, someone was shameless enough to remind JNC that her birthday was coming. And so, we knew that if we did it too close to the day, she would be anticipating it. So JNC suggested doing it early early, so she would not suspect anything. And we did.

On the pretext of JNC’s mum cooking a sumptuous meal for us (JNC’s mum likes to cook, and she is very good at it, and she likes to invite us to her house to eat, because she enjoys seeing us enjoy the food she cooks.), JNC invited all of us to her house for dinner. As ‘invited guests’, it was only polite that we brought something for her mum, since she was cooking specially for us. So YL ordered this huge 9-layer rainbow kueh from this popular place that JNC recommended, arranged for a courier to pick it up, and send it to the office, paid for it herself, and brought it to JNC’s house.

Little did she know that, we were going to put candles on it, and that was going to be her birthday ‘cake’! So she was actually doing everything herself, for her birthday celebration! JNC said that it ‘serves her right’ for reminding us about her birthday, and spoiling her own surprise! Kekeke!

So gals, like LA said, even if you know your birthday is coming, and someone will be celebrating for you, you have to pretend that you do not know that they are celebrating for you, and pretend to be surprised when they come out from the kitchen, holding a cake, singing ‘Happy Birthday’ song. Kekeke…

Oh, and I must mention. JNC’s mum is really a good cook. Last night we had sambal fish, beef rending, fried chicken, lotus roots soup, chap chye. And all the dishes were so gooooooooooooooooooooooooood!! Finger-licking good! And aunty kept refilling the plates with more food, we just kept eating and eating, until we could fill our stomachs no more. I took photos of the food, wanting to show LA the kind of banquet we were served, despite her objections, but I realized that the USB card reader is not working, and I can’t download the pictures in my office, so I have to do it at home. So YL, I know you are waiting for the photos of the food. Wait ya! *Grins*

Another thing I have to mention, is that JNC has a pair of very adorable, very witty children. Her son kept wanting to join us at the table, wanting to join in our conversation, despite him saying that we bored him with the things we were talking about. Her daughter, following her brother also sat at the table. They were both talking and talking, until JNC could take it no longer, and asked them to leave the table, giving us adults some ‘peace’ hehehe. They relunctantly went back to their room, and got ready for bed.

I remember JC brought her son to my father’s wake 2 years back. And from there, I already knew that he was a 'special' kid. Special in the sense that he asked a lot of intelligent questions, and is not shy to ask. Which is good. Not like many of us, who is always afraid to ask, afraid to make mistakes, afraid of losing face, afraid of being embarrassed. I mean, only then, you can learn more, right? I think so… I mean, I am not always in the company of children, so I would not know how the children nowadays are like. Maybe they are all like him???? Ahaha!

JNC’s daughter is a sweet little girl. As like all other second child, she follows her brother around a lot. JNC told us she is in the TAF Club. Some of you may know, all primary schools in Singapore have this system, whereby the kids that were deemed fat/obese/overweight will be put into this club. Everyday, during recess, instead of joining the other kids at the canteen, these kids will have to exercise. Poor thing hor. I mean, they also need to eat one mah. Why have to make them exercise when all the rest are eating, or playing games? But I guess the government thinks that it is for the good of the kids’ health, so well…

I really thought that JNC’s girl is not fat at all, the only thing is… her tummy is BIG. Other parts of her body are fine, in my opinion. So I don’t know why she is in the club. Good thing is, JNC’s girl took it well. She can even tell JNC that TAF, which stands for Trim And Fit, is Fat spelt backwards. Hmmm.. I never noticed kekeke… This little girl, is gonna make everyone happy. The whole night, she entertained us with her full-of-expressions- face, showing us the funny graphics in the playstation, showing us her ‘pet dog’ Snowee, etc. I think she is a sweet girl.

Oh, both of them kids have small eyes, so when they smile or laugh, there is only a small slit hehehe. I like small eyes *giggles*. I think they are cute!

Anyone has any small eyes and cute guys to introduce to me?

Worthless Piece of Shit II

Was complaining to Bubbles about boss last night. She may be used to boss already, but I am not, yet.

You see, one week ago, boss wanted to me plan a full year schedule of meetings, which I did, with a simple chart, with the meeting names and dates. The boss said boss doesn’t understand my chart, and asked me to do a complicated one, with all the little details, like what time to eat and shit. So I did, but only the first round of meetings in March and April. When boss ‘approves’ that, then I shall continue with the rest of the year. Boss agreed. So I went ahead to plan the first round of meetings, calling this and that to check on the timings and whether the schedule is workable. After many rounds of ding-dongs, I finally sent the ‘final’ version to boss’s secretary in wherever boss is now, and asked her to show boss to see if boss is ok with that.

Who knows, the secretary left me a Yahoo message, and I saw it when I got home last night. She said that boss got VERY angry, and shouted at her in front of a lot of people. That boss told me to do the schedule a month ago, and till now, I have not done it. That boss wanted a full year schedule, not a 2 months one. That boss only wanted a simple schedule with dates, and not the details. And asked her specifically if she understood what boss wanted.

Is my memory failing me, or am I a total idiot???

Sometimes, I really feel like one.

Like such a simple task and I am taking such a long time to do it, and do it wrong.

Like such a simple thing and yet I do not understand.

Like boss told me so many times, and still I do not get it.

Like I am really such a worthless piece of shit…

My 'Kids'

Today, one of my colleagues came over to my desk and saw the picture of Elfie on my PC desktop.

‘Your dog ar?’

‘Ya, cute hor?’

‘Ya, Shih Tzu very cute.’

‘Wah, you still can recognize it’s a Shih Tzu ar, fur so short.’

‘Can, because I also have dog mah. How old is your dog?’

‘1 and a half yrs old.’

‘Oh, so still very young. You ever had a dog when you were pregnant?’

(Me -_-''') ‘I was never pregnant…’

(My colleague with a paiseh look) ‘Oh.. then who is the little girl I saw with you on your handphone wall paper?’

‘That’s my niece la!’

And we both burst out laughing…

Yes, not only her, a few people ever asked me things like ‘How long are you married/How old is your daughter/How many kids do you have/etc etc etc’ because they saw my photo in my Yahoo, or handphone. Maybe my niece and I look alike hehehe.

If I can have a daughter so cute, so big, without having to go through the 9 months’ pregnancy, and the pain of childbirth, I seriously don’t mind…;p

Although I do not have any real kids of my own yet, I do have a furkid, Elfie lah. He is really like my son. I worry if he doesn’t eat. I worry if he doesn’t poo, or poo too much. I worry if he is too inactive. I worry if he is alone at home.

Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night, because I felt that something wasn’t right. Then I saw Elfie sitting at the edge of my mattress, looking at me.

Then, he started this familiar action of wanting to puke. And he did. Then I realized, I was awaken by the sound of him puking, because I saw another patch of puke at another corner. I quickly got up to clean up the mess, in case someone woke up to go to the loo and stepped on the mess, and also reassuring him that it was ok, Mummy (me) would clean up, because he looked so guilty of puking and dirtying the place.

And after that, I couldn’t fall asleep again. Because I just felt that it wasn’t over. Elfie was also very restless. First, he slept on my mattress on his side. Then shifted to lie flat. Then went down to the floor. Then sat up. And so did I. He looked at me with sad eyes. And started the action of puking again. I got up again to clean up the mess a second time, and also to cuddle him, to tell him it was really ok, I knew he was not feeling well. Then we both fell asleep.

Oh yes, Elfie has this habit of swallowing things on the floor. And my mum has this habit of dropping things on the floor. So far, I have cleaned up puke of pistachio nut shells, Rocher wrapper (which was last night), a whole middle joint of a chicken wing, orange seeds, peanuts, and I can’t remember what else. No matter how many times I told my mum to pick up things that she dropped, or to clear the rubbish once she is done eating, she just refuses to listen, and thus the frequent puking of Elfie.

Oh well, there is nothing much I can do, since she is my mum, and I can’t do anything else besides telling her off gently. I can’t be home all the time to clean up after her, so I can only hope that Elfie gives up the habit of swallowing things, which is quite unlikely to happen.

Anyone has any solution?

I Realized...

That it has got nothing to do with my old laptop at home that I am not able to blog at home. I suspect it is the broadband that is failing me. Maybe because there are too many workstations sharing one broadband meant to be for one workstation, it keep getting disconnected, and when that happens, my post is not able to get uploaded into blogger, and now with my new laptop, the same thing happens again. So… yeah, I am back to blogging at work, and here is my weekend blogs.

Friday
YL and I met EN, who is back from Holland to visit her dad. I was actually quite reluctant to do this ‘gathering’, because I am not particularly close to EN, and I think I will have nothing to talk to her about. But EN has been haunting me to meet up, and since I had not met her the last 2 times she was back, I decided that I can no longer put it off. So I went.

We met at Crystal Jade at PS. Her hubby was there too. And of course her cutie pie daughter LeAnne. In the beginning, it was quite awkward, because we really did not talk anything much. Even YL, the usual talkative, friendly girl could not really find any topic. But then, I guess the 3 of them were tired ,being out the whole day, and EN was, as I have known her to be, being kan chiong about her LeAnne’s dinner. Worse, since she is with her second child now, I guess her mood swings are more than usual

But after a while, when LeAnne started to warm up to me and YL, things got a little better. Well, yes, nothing can get boring when you have a cute little baby/toddler around. For some reasons I don’t know, LeAnne got really amused by me. Maybe that day my bitterguord face transformed into some comical style, and made LeAnne laughed and laughed when she put out her hand, and I put out my hand, and she would laugh very heartily. This went on throughout the entire dinner. Then when she got bored, she entertained herself with my blue colour rubber band that I used to tie my hair up. Then we concluded that EN just found a nanny (me) for LeAnne…

After we parted with EN, YL and me… Oh, I promised YL I wouldn’t tell anyone about what happened after, so I shall not write about that hehehehehe!


Saturday
Today, we celebrated Director’s birthday in advance (Actual day is Mar11). We arranged for dinner at Waraku at Starhub Center. Some people couldn’t make it the last minute. Some people managed to turn up last minute, so well…

Dinner at Waraku was yucky. Funny… because the few times I had been there, the food was quite nice. Gangster also thought the same. But maybe because I have always ordered the paperpot, which was soupy, and so nothing much can be complained about that. Overall, everything can be described with one world – salty.

Because we were quite a big group, we were given a room at the corner of the restaurant. The door was kept closed, and the only way to get their attention was to ring a bell in the room. The first waitress that served us, we all agreed that her attitude sucks. First, sadly, she has a bitterguord face like me. Secondly, she expressed her displeasure at us being indecisive, talking too much, and keeping her waiting, by showing us her bitterguord face. I mean, being in the service line, isn’t the first thing you learn is to smile at your customers? Maybe not all think like me… Thirdly, she slammed the door so loud, that most of us got a little shock, when she left the room.

Some time later, another waiter came to serve us. This one, was so much better than the waitress. First, he had a smiley face. Secondly, he asked us if everything was ok every now and then. Thirdly, he responded to our bell quite quickly. Most importantly, he made us happy. Someone was commenting that we are like a group of typical old ladies - fussy, talkative, want to be pleased – and therefore, we were easily satisfied by the pleasant young man, who readily agreed to anything we wanted. Come on, are we getting there already????

Although everyone complained that the food was salty, for some reasons I don’t know again, we kept ordering and ordering. And you wouldn’t believe it, we actually finished all the food, except for some cod fish roe thingy that HP wanted to try (so we left it all to her), and a cheesy thingy dish that came too late when we were all already full up to our neck. I should have known my friends better than to let them order food…

After dinner, JB-ren and Travolta left, one needed to fetch her daughter, the other one sick. The rest of us headed to Director’s house for – wine. Gangster said it was time for us to learn to be atas, so… Yeah, we are learning!

After a while, I whipped out my camera and started taking pictures of things around Director’s house. Director saw, and she commented that bloggers like me likes to take photos, because if they don’t have photos, they don’t have anything to put in their blog. So thanks ya Director, for giving me something to blog about! Kekekeke.

A mahjong table that was purchased, because we wanted to use her house as our gambling den, but now for entertainment pusposes.

TV mounted on a false wall that looks like a fireplace
Our wine...
A road sign that Director and Gangster 'stole' when we were much much younger
An old window grill, now used as a photo frame. Brilliant, aint it?

A Mr. Bean sitting in a Beetle. I don't really like the doll... looks scary to me...

Rocking chair with a cool design on it! Start rocking!

A nice Vespa one of Director's friend left ion her house for 'display'. How come no one leaves such nice things in my house???

Sunday
Today is the last day of the IT Show. Despite me saying that I wanted to avoid the weekend crowd, I still decided to go down and take a look at portable hard disk, and… some other stuff.

As I was getting changed, HP smsed me, and asked if I was going down. She wanted to join me because she wanted to get a digital camera. So we met on the bus (yeah we sort of timed it so that we can meet each other on the bus), and went down to Suntec City.

We were there quite early, just a while after the show opened the doors. But the crowd was quite scary already. Both of us had decided that we would be fast in our buys, and would just get out from the place as soon as we could. But, we still stayed there for a good 4 hours…

The crowd doesnt loook much from here, but this is only the ground level, not the IT Show yet. Trust me, this is only part of it...
Thats the jam on the bridge to the convention center

And this is my erm… new camera…

So yeah, that was my busy weekend. And this week, I am gonna keep myself very busy, because I need to start packing things. I am moving office! From one level to another level. Very soon, I wouldn’t be so close to Bubbles.

I think, I am gonna miss her a lot…

Anyone There?

Was there ever a time when you felt that the world is so big, you are so tiny, that no one ever cares if you even existed, that you are so alone, that no one will even bother if you just disappear from this world?

I do.

Like the past 2 days, when I MIA from the office, its like no one really noticed. I mean, its good la, I can eat snake. But then, on second thoughts, it also means that I am so insignificant, that no one even bothers if I am around.

Like when my China colleagues were here, they don’t even really know who I am. And I don’t really know who is who too. Ok, I know that I did not make the effort to go and know everyone of them. But, for a shy person like me, you will never know how hard it is to make conversation, when you hardly know the person, and how awkward you feel when the person turns around and talk to someone else instead, because you are too boring to strike conversation with.

Like when your handphone doesn’t even ring for the whole day, and you wonder where the rest of the people have gone to, and the only sms you receive is from M1 telling you your how much your bill is.

Like when you send an sms to 8 persons, and no one bothers to reply you, even a simple yes or no, and keeps you wondering if you have sent smses to empty numbers.

Like when the only living thing you can talk to is your dog, which faithfully sits down and listens to you without interrupting you, or telling you that he has another appointment he needs to run off.

Sad, isn’t it? Maybe I am not so nice a person I thought I am afterall.

*Hides into my hermit shell*