Was there ever a time when you felt that the world is so big, you are so tiny, that no one ever cares if you even existed, that you are so alone, that no one will even bother if you just disappear from this world?
I do.
Like the past 2 days, when I MIA from the office, its like no one really noticed. I mean, its good la, I can eat snake. But then, on second thoughts, it also means that I am so insignificant, that no one even bothers if I am around.
Like when my China colleagues were here, they don’t even really know who I am. And I don’t really know who is who too. Ok, I know that I did not make the effort to go and know everyone of them. But, for a shy person like me, you will never know how hard it is to make conversation, when you hardly know the person, and how awkward you feel when the person turns around and talk to someone else instead, because you are too boring to strike conversation with.
Like when your handphone doesn’t even ring for the whole day, and you wonder where the rest of the people have gone to, and the only sms you receive is from M1 telling you your how much your bill is.
Like when you send an sms to 8 persons, and no one bothers to reply you, even a simple yes or no, and keeps you wondering if you have sent smses to empty numbers.
Like when the only living thing you can talk to is your dog, which faithfully sits down and listens to you without interrupting you, or telling you that he has another appointment he needs to run off.
Sad, isn’t it? Maybe I am not so nice a person I thought I am afterall.
*Hides into my hermit shell*
I do.
Like the past 2 days, when I MIA from the office, its like no one really noticed. I mean, its good la, I can eat snake. But then, on second thoughts, it also means that I am so insignificant, that no one even bothers if I am around.
Like when my China colleagues were here, they don’t even really know who I am. And I don’t really know who is who too. Ok, I know that I did not make the effort to go and know everyone of them. But, for a shy person like me, you will never know how hard it is to make conversation, when you hardly know the person, and how awkward you feel when the person turns around and talk to someone else instead, because you are too boring to strike conversation with.
Like when your handphone doesn’t even ring for the whole day, and you wonder where the rest of the people have gone to, and the only sms you receive is from M1 telling you your how much your bill is.
Like when you send an sms to 8 persons, and no one bothers to reply you, even a simple yes or no, and keeps you wondering if you have sent smses to empty numbers.
Like when the only living thing you can talk to is your dog, which faithfully sits down and listens to you without interrupting you, or telling you that he has another appointment he needs to run off.
Sad, isn’t it? Maybe I am not so nice a person I thought I am afterall.
*Hides into my hermit shell*
2 comments:
Of course there's someone there!
I feel sad you would think there is no one there & no one cares ...
As usual, I decided to read your blog coz' you coming to my house soon mah ... and it's always better to know what you've been up to :) so as to NOT ask those "sensitive" questions like the one I ask 2 years back about the KL guy ... quick flashback!
Me (cheekily) : So, how's things with the KL guy?
YL choked on her food, with BIG-eyes looking at me as if saying : Hallo! Are you crazy! It's over! Why you asking !!!!
Me : what WHAT??
You : You don't know meh .. OVER already .. and you went on EATING!
I sure learn my lesson from there .. hehehe!
About your office people not knowing you MIA, I think that's indeed very sad. Here where we are, we NOT ONLY know you're not in office, we know WHY & WHERE you've gone. In fact, sometimes we would even call or sms to tell you You're Missed in the Office :) ... ya, I know it's a bit "African Monk" but we care mah ... Mayb you come back la ...
Err ... I never thought you are SHY person leh but now I think of it, every time we meet, you say LITTLE but LAUGH a lot ... that's why I always make it a point to ask you questions otherwise, you are happy just sitting there ...
Are you a nice person?
Of coz' you are & don't anyone try to tell you otherwise ... Not nice people are those who live UPSTAIRS ;) .... You've always considered how others feel and sometimes put others before self ... you'll be a good friend till the end ... though I haven't had the opportunity to 'test' it out, but I know when I come to it, you will stand by me. Just as I would YOU. No doubt about that also!
I think the fact is not many of us know you the way you really are ... coz' you don't say much. But I hope you know WE'll be there, always! There's no question about it. I think I speak for the 3 of us .. err, those coming to my house la ...
Mayb today you feel little down? In one of those moods ... cheer up, friend :)
Look to Wed, good food, good friends, good show ... now, how many friends would go through the trouble we do? ;)
hey thanks! i know u gals will always be there for me, of cos i do!
erm, as i was telling YL, i was just in one of 'those moods', and thus this upsetting post of mine...
dun worry abt me, at least i can blog abt it, and not keep it bottled up :)
dun forget, i m the Ah-Q-Rose, happy-go-lucky, 天塌下来当被盖, have-a-good-sleep-and-everything-will-be-ok Rose!
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