Pathological Lying

I watched a TVB series yesterday. It talked briefly about Pathological Lying. Sometimes I feel that I am like that too... Though I will bounced back to reality soon. hahaha So maybe my case not counted?

What's Pathological Lying? Here is a brief explanation:

Pathological lying is a psychological disorder in which a person lies so extensively that they believe their own lies. Pathological lying should be taken seriously, and the select few who are plagued by it should seek psychological help.

Compulsive lying, or pathological lying, is a common disorder often caused by low self-esteem and a need for attention. Often, the liar does not realize how often he or she is lying because it becomes second nature. Compulsive lying alienates friends and loved ones and often brings about the opposite of what the liar wants: instead of getting the attention they often crave, they end up pushing people away. With therapy, many people can overcome their compulsion to lie and salvage their interpersonal relationships before it is too late.

I have my own little fantasies: An unbelievably nice man comes after me, loves me alot, pampers me, we get married, live happily ever after. I have a good job, pays well, work at my own time. Understanding boss. I have 2 lovable children, 1 boy, 1 gal, whom everyones dotes on. Everybody loves me. I am the angel in everyone's eyes... hahahahahah... Sometimes I would like to believe that. But too bad.. things ALWAYS without fail, turn out the way you DONT want them to be...

I think I not counted la. I dont lie to people (At least not about the above stuff hahaha). I only lie to myself. Make myself believe that things are not that bad afterall. Presevere and everything will turn out just right. I have this habit of psychoing myself into believing that things are just working out fine, even when they arent. Especially when it comes to matters of the heart. Maybe that is why I always meet the wrong people, make the wrong decisions. I always make excuses for people, that they always have valid reasons (though these 'valid reasons' are made up by me) for doing things that they do. Give myself a reason to forgive them. That makes me a very easy target. Cos i forgive and forget easily mah. Whatever they say, I will believe. Gullible right?

But sometimes, I will be damn stubborn. No matter how much people explain, I will stick to my own judgement. I believe in my own principles strongly. Now maybe I am schizophrenic? Hahaha... Shit... The more I think the weirder I seem to have become.

I was just commenting to a friend (who is much younger than me) that some of my friends become weird and eccentric as we grow older, especially those single ones (shit, now I am one of them). Just keep believing in the things they strongly believe in. Not that it is bad, but sometimes just not realistic. And its not good to keep sticking to those beliefs if you know that they are not achievable. Dont know, maybe I have never been a high achiever, so I set low targets for myself hahahahahaha. Low target easier to achieve, then you feel better when you know you have achieved, right? No? Yes? Well, you can always set high goals after you have achieved the lower ones, right? Why be so hard on yourself (myself)?

My first objective in life is to be happy. Second one is to make everyone I love happy. Of cos, some will ask: How come first objective is not make other people happy? I dont know, I feel that if I am not happy, how to make other people happy? Right? So I must be happy myself first, then influence other people to me happy lor. Whether I psychoed myself to be happy, or I am genuinely happy, is another issue.....

So, the important thing is: Be happy! Smile! For myself, and for other people.