Bubbles mentioned something about love. Cos I put in my MSN "pls do not ask me what love is". Why I put that comment is bcos earlier someone kept asking me that question, till I was very irritated. So I put it there to stop her from asking me. She has kinda stopped for now. But I just left the comment as it is.
I fully agree on the points that Bubbles mentioned – When I love someone, I will go all out to please him, keep thinking of him, keep wanting to talk to him, buy him little gifts, give him pleasant surprises, listen to his woes, stand by him no matter what. When not together, will keep wondering what he is doing, if he is well, whether he has eaten….
There were only 2 persons I did all the above – One is Mr J, undoubtedly, since he was my first love (stupidly). The other was Mr A.
Mr J was the lucky one. He had practically all the ‘perks’ mentioned. Though he gave me more tears than joy, he made me grow up, and realized how cruel reality is. Do I regret being with him? Hmmm… Not really. Certain decisions, yes I do regret making them. If I could turn back time, I would have done things differently. But then, if I had did some things differently then, would I still be doing what I am doing now? Experienced what I have gone through after him? Maybe not. So no, I do not regret.
I know he did not love me. I know he was ‘forced’ to be with me under some circumstances then. I know and knew all the while that I was not the only one he was with then. Why did I stick with him then? Bcos I was blinded by L-O-V-E. Love that was not reciprocated at all. Instead, all I got in return were loads of debts, some scars that can never be erased (physically and emotionally), and a painful lesson learnt.
Is it me or are all women the same? Will anyone do the same if they were in the same situation as me? Or would they have left him long ago? One thing for sure, Beach Gals were all relieved when they knew he was out of my life. Hahahaha. That is one thing I always appreciate them for. Being there when I needed them most.
I did bump into him a few times. I think he was working somewhere near my ex company. Not sure if he saw me, but I avoided him like mad. Maybe he really terrified me hahahaha.
Mr A. I have the sweetest memory of us. Although we were not together for long, I think I have the strongest bond with him. We did not even see each other very often, cos it was LDR. So I craved for him very often (hahaha, crave is a funny word to use here, but that’s exactly how I felt). There may be silence sometimes, but it is not unpleasant. We just enjoy it with each other.
Everything would have been perfect. It was only time – we met each other too late. There were other things we had to take care of. I guess maybe we were both not selfish enough? Everytime we met, the guilt just kept eating at us. I had wanted to give up. But, again I was softhearted. And just when I decided to accept the fact that we can only carry on the way it is, he decided to call it off. That was the greatest heartache I ever felt. How can he do that to me when he was the one who asked me to hang on if I loved him???? But well…. It’s a fact that he had done it, and I have come to accept it. So its over.
All the rest that followed were… I dont know how I ended up with them. I guess I was just lonely, and wanted companionship. But a relationship without love will not last long, that I have learnt too.
Yes Bubbles, sometimes for some reasons, you are not able to be with the one you love. But if there is that someone that loves you, and you do not mind spending the rest of your life with him, I guess that is good enough? Of cos, the ideal situation would be i-love-u-u-love-me, but really, how many of us get that lucky???
Wish me luck! I need loads of that!
I fully agree on the points that Bubbles mentioned – When I love someone, I will go all out to please him, keep thinking of him, keep wanting to talk to him, buy him little gifts, give him pleasant surprises, listen to his woes, stand by him no matter what. When not together, will keep wondering what he is doing, if he is well, whether he has eaten….
There were only 2 persons I did all the above – One is Mr J, undoubtedly, since he was my first love (stupidly). The other was Mr A.
Mr J was the lucky one. He had practically all the ‘perks’ mentioned. Though he gave me more tears than joy, he made me grow up, and realized how cruel reality is. Do I regret being with him? Hmmm… Not really. Certain decisions, yes I do regret making them. If I could turn back time, I would have done things differently. But then, if I had did some things differently then, would I still be doing what I am doing now? Experienced what I have gone through after him? Maybe not. So no, I do not regret.
I know he did not love me. I know he was ‘forced’ to be with me under some circumstances then. I know and knew all the while that I was not the only one he was with then. Why did I stick with him then? Bcos I was blinded by L-O-V-E. Love that was not reciprocated at all. Instead, all I got in return were loads of debts, some scars that can never be erased (physically and emotionally), and a painful lesson learnt.
Is it me or are all women the same? Will anyone do the same if they were in the same situation as me? Or would they have left him long ago? One thing for sure, Beach Gals were all relieved when they knew he was out of my life. Hahahaha. That is one thing I always appreciate them for. Being there when I needed them most.
I did bump into him a few times. I think he was working somewhere near my ex company. Not sure if he saw me, but I avoided him like mad. Maybe he really terrified me hahahaha.
Mr A. I have the sweetest memory of us. Although we were not together for long, I think I have the strongest bond with him. We did not even see each other very often, cos it was LDR. So I craved for him very often (hahaha, crave is a funny word to use here, but that’s exactly how I felt). There may be silence sometimes, but it is not unpleasant. We just enjoy it with each other.
Everything would have been perfect. It was only time – we met each other too late. There were other things we had to take care of. I guess maybe we were both not selfish enough? Everytime we met, the guilt just kept eating at us. I had wanted to give up. But, again I was softhearted. And just when I decided to accept the fact that we can only carry on the way it is, he decided to call it off. That was the greatest heartache I ever felt. How can he do that to me when he was the one who asked me to hang on if I loved him???? But well…. It’s a fact that he had done it, and I have come to accept it. So its over.
All the rest that followed were… I dont know how I ended up with them. I guess I was just lonely, and wanted companionship. But a relationship without love will not last long, that I have learnt too.
Yes Bubbles, sometimes for some reasons, you are not able to be with the one you love. But if there is that someone that loves you, and you do not mind spending the rest of your life with him, I guess that is good enough? Of cos, the ideal situation would be i-love-u-u-love-me, but really, how many of us get that lucky???
Wish me luck! I need loads of that!
No comments:
Post a Comment